Strangled by the thought
by SumCoop
Summary: Brooke Davis somehow always gets blaimed for hurting Peyton, and she's had enough, Brooke is the one who's hurt but she hides behind her bitchiness and is going to do any and everyhting to sabotage Lucas and Peyton's relationship. Eventually Brucas!
1. Fools in love

**Hey everyone, so uhm this is my new story and I wasn't planning on posting it too soon but that idea was kind of thrown out of the window when I couldn't wait any longer obviously.**

**Okay so this is what you should know:**

**Lucas and Peyton are together, and Brooke is not happy for them whatsoever…she is not at ease and piece with the thought and my story will be focusing on that, it's just that whenever I see season 4 which stupid me just had I have to gag at how Pucas is! Ugh with the corniness and the cheesiness…it's too forced…ugh anyways all my angriness I put into writing and what do you get an angry bitchy Brooke who you'll still love trust me, I love her bitchy side. This will eventually be a Brucas but first I want Peyton to suffer and Lucas too a little.**

**Anyways just see what you think and one other thing this starts of from episode 12 in season 4 with the scene in class where Lucas tells Peyton how beautiful she looks blahblah…vomit!**

**Enjoy! And tell me what you think! (This chapter is somewhat short but the next will be longer promise!)**

**Love Noor!**

**Chapter 1: Fools in love**

There they were sitting together in class as if they were the perfect couple gazing into each other's eyes as if they were the only ones in the world…and Brooke had to look at them, she just wanted to turn away and gag but that would ruin her plan. Her plan; she was going to let Peyton feel what she had felt, if all their years of friendship had meant nothing to her than it hadn't meant anything to Brooke.

Brooke Davis had been gradually falling apart when she learnt about her bestfriend's true feelings towards her boyfriend. All she ever wanted for Peyton was for her to find happiness whether it was with Pete from Fall Out Boy or Jake Jagelski the notorious teenage boy who was a father at the tender age of sixteen, she really wanted her to be happy just not with the one person she was happy with and still that was the only she seemed to be happy with.

That's what bestfriends do they wish each other all the happiness in the world and try their best to help one another reach that goal of happiness, that was what it meant to Brooke, Peyton however probably had a different meaning in her dictionary of what the word friendship meant.

Ever since the two had enrolled into the whole triangle one which Brooke had been desperately trying not to create, when she knew she liked Lucas Scott when she first met him she had asked Peyton if she liked him too, because she knew that if her blonde former bestfriend did she would step aside. Peyton though denied whatsoever feelings she might have had towards Lucas and told Brooke that she was 'cool' with them being a couple.

Mad crushed, that's what Brooke described her feelings to be when she had a relationship with the blonde haired blued eyed brooder she seemed to be so fond of. Brooke's heart and soul were opened up to a world she had never known of and thought only existed in fairytales at the time she would have thought that if that had made her a pessimist than she would be fine with being pessimistic.

However when meeting Lucas her heart swelled with love, she couldn't breathe and think properly when he was with her and that was probably also why she had been so naive, the love she felt towards him really made her blind, blind to the cheating her boyfriend had done with no other than her best friend.

In time Brooke had learned to forgive them both and was starting to have piece with the idea of seeing them together only to find out that it wasn't the skinny blonde girl he loved, it was her, he told her he wanted to be with her and that confused Brooke yet made her feel so content. She had two months to think about her feelings she had towards him and knew deep down in her heart that he would always be her true love.

After again a lot of heart ache this time caused by Brooke to Lucas they tried again and the first few weeks she had felt so good, that feeling of her heart aching in that blissful way had come back to her and she truly felt that she was the happiest woman on the face of the planet, nevertheless she was still very fragile around Lucas and Peyton never trusting them especially Peyton all the way.

Lucas tried to reassure her time and time again that it was her that he was in love with and wanted to be with not Peyton. And Brooke believed him his words sounded so sincere and she fell back in love with him all over again, every time he gave her a letter she felt the everlasting love she felt towards him. And then everything changed, her backstabbing-two-faced-supposed-to-be-bestfriend had again put another knife in her back but this time doing it as if she were the innocent one, as if she had all meant it well.

Brooke knew that Lucas loved her and she loved him so that was all she needed and for him to stay away from her, but when he told her they had kissed she felt her world crumble not so much because he had cheated on her again, which in itself was so pedestrian, dirty and mostly just cruel, but because she really knew she would have to let him go this time, she couldn't do this anymore the sorrow, the tears, the pain it was all to much to bare.

And that was exactly what she did she let him go, set him and herself free and thought she would spare them both the heart ache, however the heart ache was much worse than she thought it would be, she cried herself to sleep every single night, she craved to hold him and to kiss him only to realise that she couldn't, not after everything that happened.

Now if she thought that things couldn't get worse she heard Peyton's confession about how she told Lucas that she loved him, at this time Brooke no longer cared too much for Peyton seeing as yet again people pointed mad fingers at Brooke whenever they saw the two brooding blondes…at that moment in time Brooke had had enough and decided at the State Champion Ship that Peyton would be feeling what Brooke had been feeling for the past three years. The memory of what Peyton had told her while the two girls had been standing on her front porch only helped Brooke with her decision.

'_I'm sorry Peyton' Brooke said as she looked at the blonde girl who was sitting and watching her curiously wanting to know why she was apologizing to her._

'_Why?' she asked her honestly confused as to why Brooke was on the verge of tears and apologizing to her._

'_Because I shouldn't have left you there…I thought that you were behind me.' Brooke said and Peyton felt bad for her best friend, she knew that the people in the school that day weren't the only ones who were dealing with what had happened and to see Brooke standing in front of her made her all that more worse for never asking her how she was doing while people bombarded her with questions as to how her leg was._

'_Brooke don't…' Peyton started but was caught of by Brooke._

'_No I should have made sure!' she told her and the sadness and disappointment she had in herself could be clearly written in her eyes._

'_Okay you're my bestfriend and you want to know what made me feel better when I was trapped in that library?' Peyton asked her with a smile on her face. _

'_It was knowing that Brooke was okay you know my bestfriend she's safe.' She told her sincerely that really was something she was happy about because if Brooke had not been okay she could never forgive herself._

'_I love you for that P. Sawyer.' Brooke said while tears pooled in her eyes. 'But there was something else that made you feel better in that library…my boyfriend.' she ended as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and Peyton felt hurt the kiss she shared with Lucas could never come out she knew that was for sure._

'_And I guess I can't hold it against him, I mean can I? The boy I love protected the girl I love…and the girl he loves too.' Brooke told the blonde who had a brooding expression written over her face._

'_Brooke…' _

'_No we both know it's true…' she said and it hurt her more than anyone could possible know to say those words out loud, she was finally admitting it._

'_Okay…' Peyton started and struggled to get up Brooke was immediately by her side holding her so she wouldn't hurt herself, they looked into each other's eyes and Peyton stared back at Brooke seriously. _

'_Alright I want you to listen to me. I care about Lucas, and I always will…but that boy is insanely in love with you.' Peyton said and the sincerity of her words felt so good in Brooke's ears, she just wanted someone to confirm the feelings Lucas had for her. _

'_And you know what…so am I! You're my Brooke.' Peyton said getting a small laugh form Brooke in response. _

'_I'm not going to hurt you again.' She had told the brunette who's tears were now freely running down her cheeks, she meant what she said she didn't want to hurt her again, who knew how wrong she had been._

'I'm not going to hurt you again my ass.' Brooke mumbled under her breath as she looked at the couple who were passing notes to one another both two mesmerized they were in class to notice Brooke, they probably didn't even know she was sharing their class, or they thought she'd just skipped again.

Fortunately for Brooke the teacher stopped Lucas and Peyton's love note passing and took the note out of Lucas's hands. Brooke sighed in relief one more of those notes and Brooke was going to go insane however not so fortunately for her the teacher said the next thing.

'Well well passing notes Mr. Scott.' The female teacher said smiling slyly and contently at the highschool lover, she opened the note. 'How about we share this with the class.' She said as a true old fashioned teacher would. However more unfortunate for Brooke was that Lucas spoke up.

'I'd be happy to, it just says that Peyton you look amazing and I can't wait 'till class is over, so I can look at those green eyes and kiss your perfect lips.' He said and looked at the teacher while Brooke stayed seated and sunk back into her chair, a girl she had never seen before turned around and gave her a sympathetic smile.

'Did I miss anything?' he asked the teacher in his husky voice.

'No that pretty much covers it.' the teacher said rather shocked that Lucas felt no shame at how cheesy and corny and absolutely hot he just sounded. 'Peyton care to respond?' she asked the blonde girl and Brooke looked at the two and was shocked by what she saw. Peyton held the back of Lucas' neck and kissed him there were some aw's and smiles, and there was one angry gaze one that was radiating of off Brooke's delicate face.

'Ugh…' came a loud noise from the back of the class and everyone turned around to see Brooke hold a hand to her mouth and see her eyebrows furrowed.

'Just swallowing back some vomit.' She told the teacher who looked quizzically at the brunette, Brooke looked at the two blonde's and saw the guilt, so they didn't know she was in class, nevertheless that didn't matter to Brooke now her furry was far worse than she imagined it to be.

'Mrs. Greenberg I'm suddenly hit by a very sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, may I be excused to the bathrooms, I'm afraid that if I don't go now all my vomit which is coming out for sure is going to come pouring out and will most probably be directed at one Mr. Scott and Ms. Sawyer.' She asked the teacher not once looking at the two blondes, Mrs. Greenberg simply nodded not wanting to cause any trouble, Brooke gathered her stuff and started to walk towards the door she still hadn't looked at anyone but could hear the whispers going around her, she was about to leave when another idea popped in her mind.

'And Peyton sorry to burst your bubble, that sounded great what Lucas just wrote you, but it sounded even better the first time he wrote it to another letter he send only this one was addressed to me and next to my eyes and lips, there was something about dimples, hair oh and breasts.' She started and looked at the two blondes one of them looked shocked and the other looked hurt, the expression she wanted to see.

'What was it again…Luke…oh yeah they were so breathtakingly beautiful and you felt yourself shudder every time you kissed them and felt them against your chest.' She said and this time the entire class was holding their breaths for what came next.

The guys in the class had to agree with Lucas on what he had said about Brooke's breasts if they even got a chance to hold her they would be the luckiest guys in the world, and the girls just felt jealous of Brooke. Mrs. Greenberg didn't say anything she just waited for Brooke to finish; she knew she should have said something being the teacher and all but she couldn't bring herself to stop the little vixen she knew she had to get this out of her system.

'And Miss Greenberg my response was…' Brooke began but laughed a little at the memory. 'Well actually I couldn't respond seeing as Lucas already had me pinned against the ground hard…yeah hard is the appropriate word there, and then we made love until the wee hours.' She finished and saw the blush Lucas had on his face and the fidgeting Peyton was doing was an indication that she was self conscious and hurt.

'You have a super day…Peyt.' Brooke said smiling a broad fake smile at her, she shrugged her shoulders and turned around opened the door and closed it with a loud thud. Brooke Davis was the bitch right, well now they had just awakened her and she was not going anywhere anytime soon.

**Review!!!**


	2. Wish I was dead, but then again no

**Oh my God you guys thank you so much for your reviews! They seriously mean the world to me and I'm so happy you like this story I really felt the need to write since every time I watch season 4 I want to just throw my computer screen at the wall or get in it and break Peyton's neck, and sometimes Lucas' too.**

**These last couple of days I had some re-runs of the third season and I'm like what the hell are you saying Lucas…when he's talking about how much Brooke is the one for him and how much he loves her, and I can't help but think what the hell was the real thing… were season 2 and 3 all just BS or was it season 4 and then I'm like season 4 obvi but I need someone to confirm it for me!**

**Anyways thanks so much for your reviews! They really mean the world to me, oh and if you want I have another story called 'Once more with feeling' which is a Brucas, check it out if you have the time!**

_**Photobooth-romance**___**I pm'ed you…just thought you should know seeing as I don't know if you've read it yet?**

**Thanks for the reviews and please keep them coming!**

**Love Noor!**

**Chapter 2: Wish I was dead, but then again no**

'Okay so then what happened?' Rachel asked as she sat on her bed and looked at Brooke who had been her telling about her day, Rachel had this twinkle of satisfaction in her eye, finally Brooke was doing something about all the shit she'd been put through by none other than a fake blonde; trailer trash bitch.

'Then I told the entire class of one of Lucas' letters he send me and how he described my breasts in it, and that we made love all night long.' She said with a smile, some would say it was a sly one but Rachel saw it was a sad one and held her hand in hers.

'Oh God I'm so proud of you, finally that white trash gets what she deserves…I can't even believe you were ever friends with her after what happened the first time…' Rachel said in an attempt to cheer Brooke up. The brunette who sat next to her friend didn't cheer up however; she just shook her head a little.

'I don't think what I'm doing is the best thing.' She said sadly, Brooke had been hurt so bad words couldn't even explain how she was feeling, yet again her best friend and her boyfriend had slapped her in the face and ripped her heart out of her chest and both stomped on it happily, while she just coward away.

'Whore…what are you stupid!' Rachel asked completely shocked she looked at her friend who she had come so close to in the past couple of weeks.

'This is the best idea you've had in…ever! Brooke you need to show Peyton that Lucas is and will always be your boy…show her that she just needs to back of.' Rachel said as she thought about the blonde whose pretty little face she just wanted to…flatten.

'But…Rach I don't want to be like her, I don't want to be like Peyton.' Brooke cried

'Exactly you're not her, Brooke you are so much stronger and put together, all Peyton ever was, was the brooding girl who was wounded and was like 'please somebody save me!' Lucas the hot but dumb ass that he is fell for it every time, and still here you are not completely breaking down…you have a right for your own revenge Brooke. Peyton had to know that Karma sucks…she's the one who broke up _the Brucas!'_ Rachel said assertively.

Rachel was right, Brooke totally deserved to get back at Peyton, but she wasn't going to do it Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer style, with the innocent break down, she was going to do it Brooke Davis style. Lucas would squirm in his seat, she would make sure he would be craving for her touch, and Peyton well she just had to see it all and some sly remarks would probably roll of her tongue too.

'You're right Rachel, I mean just because Lucas and Peyton are together doesn't mean I don't have a right to be upset anymore, I'll show Lucas Scott what he lost the minute he laid eyes on Peyton…although I did break up with him, but that's beside the point…I'm going to get him back and Peyton will have to live through it.' Brooke said as she got up from the bed.

'You sure she won't slid her wrists…' Rachel asked rather harshly, who would've thought Rachel was the one to protect and comfort Brooke back when they first started their senior years certainly not them. Brooke cringed at Rachel's hard words and she just shrugged.

'So how are you going to bring the bitch down exactly?' She asked Brooke who was pacing now after she knew she needed to have a plan.

'Ugh I don't know…I'm not exactly good with the planning that's more for tutor girl, I think the words and ideas will come when I see them, if I can keep thinking straight and don't want to kill myself that is. Today was barely bearable.' Brooke said disgustedly although there was still a hint of melancholy in her voice.

'I'm sure you will…just one question though…doesn't Lucas deserve the same kind of treatment you gave Peyton?' Rachel asked, she didn't want Brooke to hate Lucas too, but she was just wondering he did kind of cheat on her twice.

'Yeah well what can I say that sorry excuse of a girl had him on her spell…besides he did think she was dying when he kissed her, and he didn't even want to be with her even after the stupid bimbo told him she loved him…now I can't say he won't suffer but he is not the one I want to get back at, it's her.' Brooke said in one breath.

'Well then Peyton won't know what's going to hit her.' Rachel said with a sly smile and she looked at Brooke who mirrored her smile, they both nodded knowingly.

'What can I say other than what goes around, comes around.' Brooke stated and knew she was now one hundred percent behind her plan.

'Oh by the way we need to sell my car.' Brooke told Rachel as she walked to the linked bathroom while checking her appearance in the mirror.

'Why are you Broke Davis again?' Rachel asked a little sympathetic for her friend who immediately laughed at her.

'Bitch you'll know what I'm talking about later, and FYI I'm not Broke Davis again!' she said excitedly. 'Now come on!'

'Fine but you'll still need to give me rides!' Rachel said as she sauntered behind Brooke's excited ass, as Rachel liked to think of it.

The two girls giggled uncontrollably as Brooke sped up a little, Rachel held on to her and yelled along with the song that was being played, a radio that hadn't come accustomed with Brooke's cool bike, yes you read it right Brooke was now the proud owner of a Vulcan 800A w/Mustang, not to mention that she looked unbelievably hot while riding it.

Rachel held on to Brooke's waist as she made a turn and she smiled happily when she saw Naley, Mouth and Pucas turning around and several other people to watch them. Brooke smiled they didn't even know it was them seeing as their huge helmets were covering their faces.

Rachel jumped of and waited for Brooke to kill the engine, she watched her do so and even she had to admit that if she were a boy she would have jumped her right there and then and f-ed her in front of the whole school to see, fortunately or unfortunately it depended on how you looked at it she wasn't a boy and had no feelings towards her friend whatsoever.

The rectangle plus one watched the two girls, Brooke got of off her bike and locked it, she then took of her helmet shaking her hair while she did so, it was a true Kodak/ Charlie's Angels- Lucie Lu moment and she loved it plus she wasn't the only one.

'Oh my God…' Mouth said clearly shocked at what he was seeing.

'No freaking way…' said Haley with amusement in her voice as she watched her feisty vixen of a bestfriend make her way towards them with Rachel by her side.

'I think I need a cold shower.' Nathan said and in addition got a slap from Haley on his arm but she still laughed, at her husband's comment.

'I think I need to join you…' Lucas said not completely aware his current girlfriend a certain Peyton Sawyer was standing next to him and watching him with a hurt expression she however didn't say anything.

'I need to go…Brooke myself or something.' Mouth said as he watched Brooke and Rachel walk towards them, Brooke looked the hottest there was no argument there, she had also been behind the wheel which made everything even hotter than the visual already was.

'Hey guys…' Brooke said with a small smile on her face she watched the three mesmerized boys although her attention only went to Lucas, who grinned at her much like he used to do when they were still dating, mission accomplished, Brooke thought to herself.

'You like my new ride?' she asked them and they all nodded their heads eagerly, the boys that is, Haley just laughed light-heartedly and Peyton well Peyton seemed to get more and more uncomfortable.

'I might turn a lesbian after that little performance you gave us…' Haley said and couldn't help but add 'Or I might just call you for a threesome.' She said and laughed when she saw her friends expressions they all laughed at her and Nathan couldn't but like the ideas especially the last one.

'Naughty-girl!' Brooke said while she smacked Haley's arm jokingly and laughed even louder when she saw Haley just shrug her shoulders.

'Hey I'm pregnant these things just have a way of coming out of my mouth.' She told Brooke who nodded her head.

'Is this another way to become the biggest whore in school?' Peyton couldn't help but be bitter about the conversation everyone seemed so engrossed in, plus Brooke had humiliated her in front of her entire class yesterday.

'Because Brooke I hate to tell you this but you already are.' She said and Brooke laughed out loud while walking towards her, she had felt Lucas' nudge in her side but she didn't budge.

'No honey that would be you…you know with stealing my boyfriend and all…' Brooke said with a smirk on her face, Peyton kept staring back at her and the two girls' eyes locked nobody around them dared to say anything, Brooke's gaze turned to Lucas who was looking quite scared, afraid he would be the next who was going to be ranted, but Brooke was not done with Peyton yet.

'Luke one word of advise, keep your precious little Peyton away from the coke…her sticky little fingers happen to get a hold of that stuff whenever her life is depressing.' She said and watched with satisfaction as all eyes except Haley's and hers turned to Peyton with shocked expression written all over their faces.

Brooke looked at Peyton and shook her head making her way towards the school while bumping shoulders with her as she did so. Peyton had just about enough and turned around to grab Brooke by her shoulder and turn her around, she was supposed to be her bestfriend how could she humiliate her like this in front of her friends and boyfriend.

'Brooke don't make me!' she yelled at the brunette who had by now raised her perfect arched eyebrow at her and one hand on her hip, her anger came raging out, what in the hell did Peyton want to do to her, she had no right to even look at her, and Brooke had every right to make her life just as miserable as she made hers.

'Make you what go back into your life as backstabbing bitch or a crack whore?!' she yelled and was about to punch her in her pretty little snobby face but was stopped by Lucas who stood in front of them, Brooke shifted her gaze from Peyton to his and looked at him with much hatred he instinctively swallowed the lump that had been forming in his throat.

'You better keep that bitch close to you or I'm going to kick her ass.' She told him forcefully before walking away, Brooke shook her head at herself again she had held up another facade one that supposedly showed so much anger, as if she wasn't distressed by everything that was happening to her, like Peyton and Lucas being together didn't mean anything to her, while in fact their relationship meant her downfall.

Her insanity was coming to a point where she didn't know if she had to drink it away or cry it away…it was just all too damn hard, seeing them together everyday and to her it felt like they didn't even care…didn't they love her just as much as she loved them. She felt a warm tingling feeling on her cheek and realised it was a tear, her hand made its way to her cheek and frantically wiped the tear away she was not in the safety of Rachel's house she couldn't cry here.

'Wow…' Rachel said as she applauded for Peyton, who looked back at her with an agitated expression that didn't even bother Rachel to the slightest bit. Rachel laughed mockingly and everyone listened to her.

'Just when I thought you couldn't get even more pathetic…you've out done yourself Peyton…seriously kudos to you, not only have you stolen your bestfriend's boyfriend, you also did coke and you managed to not have a bestfriend anymore.' She told her and even though there was a mocking tone to her words there was also a certain disgust and anger in her voice.

'Seriously Peyton all Brooke ever did for you was protect you and try and make you happy and what do you do, you stab her in the back all the time…you keep saying that Lucas is the one that saves you, but who was there when your mother died, wasn't it Brooke?' Rachel asked by now the mocking-ness could no longer be heard, Rachel was angry that such a good friend like Brooke could be treated this way by both Peyton and Lucas.

Peyton looked down at her feet the tears were already pooling in her eyes but she was determined not to let them fall, she had actually never thought about it this way…and Rachel was right she had been a crappy friend to Brooke, crappy didn't even make up for her behaviour she was recklessly playing with not only Brooke's feelings but with Lucas' as well and drove the couple to the point of destruction that had been her doing, not Lucas' and certainly not Brooke's but hers.

'And you Luke?' Rachel said as she shifted her gaze from Peyton to Lucas who was squinting his eyes in the way he always seemed to do when he was thinking of something rather deeply, his brooding state.

'What happened to Brooke being the one for you?' Rachel asked as she thought back their date, he had been so determined and made her truly belief that the two belonged together, yes by that time she still had been the bitch who tried to wreck their relationship, but fortunately she had done so with no success.

'_Okay…so what is the deal with you and Brooke anyway?' Rachel asked as she looked at Lucas who had been sulking and brooding the entire time they were together._

'_She's just not ready to commit.' Lucas said honestly he knew she wasn't and he understood why she was just scared after the whole love triangle he knew it would take a while to win her heart back he just hoped he eventually would._

'_Right…that's usually what I tell guys I'm not really into.' Rachel told him with no blush on her face and no concern with how she might hurt his feelings, Lucas however just laughed and looked at her again._

'_And she wants to make sure I'm serious about her…and you know plus.' Lucas said and he knew Rachel was the first one he was going to admit this to, but he just couldn't take it any longer he needed to get this of his chest especially when he was planning on telling Brooke the exact same thing tonight._

'_Plus what?' he heard Rachel ask._

'_She's the one.' he told her with so much pride and sincerity that Rachel didn't laugh it off, she was genuinely interested – there's a first time for everything right._

'_Why?' she asked him._

'_She…she just is, I feel it.' he said with a smile on his face and a feeling full of contentment. 'Pascal said: The heart has reasons that reason can not know.' _

'What did you say again…she's the one I just feel it, and then you quoted some dude…Pascal or something reason is treason…or some B.S. like that.' Rachel said.

'The heart has reasons that reason can not know.' He said in a sullen voice, his brother looked at him in surprise he knew that voice, he knew it because that was the same voice he used when he was hurt after Chris and Brooke slept together, Nathan shook the thought out of his head his brother was making a mess of everything once again.

'Right…what happened to that Lucas, what happened to her just being the one for you.' she asked him one more time before walking away however before she was entirely out of ear shot she turned around once more.

'Oh and just to keep the score it's now Davis-Skank, two-zero – might want to work on that.' With that said she walked away up to find Brooke who had probably locked herself in a bathroom and was crying her eyes out by now.

'Hey…' he said when he saw her sitting at the River court, he knew she was going to be there he saw her bike when he walked towards the dark court and knew he could either turn around or try and talk to her, and he decided upon the latter.

'Hi.' She greeted him, she felt his presence, the way he walked and his cologne she could recognize his scent from a mile away and his sauntering steps could be heard in her ears just as far.

'I'm sorry Brooke…for everything…can we please just start over?' he asked her as he sat next to her and stared out into space holding his breath while waiting anxiously for her to answer.

'How…how am I supposed to do that?' Brooke turned her head slightly to look him in the eye there were unshed tears in her eyes and Lucas wanted to hold her close to him to protect her from everything.

'Hi I'm Lucas Scott, you're the cheer captain of the Ravens right?' he said holding his hand out for her to shake, he knew that there was a very minor chance that she was going to do this and seeing a tear roll down her cheek while she looked at his hand he was starting to get desperate, he needed her in his life.

'I care about you Brooke…I know that you might not want to hear that right now but I do, and I always will, and I really don't want to loose you – you mean too much to me, I'm asking you to start over…so hi I'm Lucas Scott.' His tone was one of desperation and his eyes gave it all away, he needed her, and that's what she had been longing to hear for so long.

Brooke got up and stood opposite of him, she was pondering over the thought on whether or not to walk away. Give up or make things work as friends? Nothing or just friends? No Lucas or Lucas? Hell or heaven with big moments of hell?

'I'm Brooke Davis.' She finally said her hand resting in his big one and once again the two hands moulded together like a perfect piece in a puzzle and send sparks down both their bodies, making their eyes lock in an intense and sacred way.

'You want to get out of here?' Lucas asked Brooke and she nodded, they both started to walk towards her bike and he eyed it hungrily. It was a Friday night so neither had to be back in time for school, and both teenagers thought of the same as they stood there in front of Brooke's new mobile.

'Want to get some drinks?' Brooke asked and Lucas nodded, she smiled when she saw he seemed to be too captivated by her bike and did the unthinkable, she grabbed two helmets from underneath her seat and handed Lucas one, he took it gladly but then she gave him the keys.

'What are you…' he started but was soon cut off when she sat on her bike to the far end and motioned for Lucas to join her. He waited for some kind of okay of her and when she told him she trusted him he didn't want to ask it twice, he sat in front of her and felt her wrap her arms around his waist.

Lucas was riding the bike as if it were his own and pretended the girl sitting behind him to be his, he knew it should somehow not feel good but all he could think about was how good this actually felt having her hold him again hearing her 'woo' when he started to ride it faster, yet again Lucas felt himself living, he was being more carefree, just like he always was when he was with Brooke. He still brooded but he didn't feel like the world's biggest problems had just been put on his shoulders he was enjoying his teenage years, and that was the way it was supposed to be right?

'Come on Broody boy after that amazing ride I'm gonna buy you a beer!' Brooke said excitedly as she jumped of her bike, Lucas smiled at the brunette who was skipping towards the entrance; he however had to regain some composure after the ride he just had, his knees felt weak and it was a feeling he never wanted to forget.

'God that was amazing!' he exclaimed as he walked side by side with her with his helmet in his hand, his girlfriend who he was supposed to call so that they could hang out long forgotten.

'Yeah you were okay…' Brooke teased him and he laughed out loud, he enjoyed this so much, it had been such a long time since he was away from all the drama in his life he just needed this time with Brooke and finally he had it and it felt superb.

'Oh is that so?' he asked her while tickling her in her side, again a little voice in his head was telling him that he shouldn't be doing this not when he had a girlfriend that was nothing at all like the petite brunette who was by now laughing hysterically and asking him to stop in her childish voice.

That little voice that was nagging him was drowned out by Brooke's laughter and by the beating in his heart which he could hear much more clearly than that voice. 'Lukeee…' she screamed and with one last tickle he threw her over his shoulder laughing with her as they walked through the entrance of the bar they both knew all too well.

The memory was still so vivid in their minds, they had played pool, gotten drunk, kissed, and after that Brooke had convinced Lucas to get the same tattoo she had and scarred him with it for life but most importantly they had so much fun, just like both their tattoos stated, God only knew if tonight was going to be a déjà vu of the past.

**Leave me a review! Pretty please! **


	3. Whispers of the heart

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews they mean so much to me! Seriously I love them all so freaking much! Anyways I'm very glad you liked the previous chapter and I'm hoping you will like this one too.**

**Anyways let me know what you think! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters of OTH, all rights belong to Mark Schwann so you can be mad at him for pulling a stupid stunt like he did for tearing our beloved Brucas apart and making Brooke look like a bitch without a heart and also making Peyton seem the innocent party ugh!**

**Anyways enjoy!**

**Love Nora!**

**PS: Check out my other Brucas story it's called Once more with feeling, it would mean a lot to me!**

**Chapter 3: Whispers of the heart**

Lucas took another painkiller; he had a killer of a headache after the night he had spend with Brooke, but still he wouldn't want to change that for the world he just hoped his game wouldn't suffer because of it. He had had a great night and he would remember it forever because he didn't know how Brooke was going to act now that it was not the two of them anymore, but he just had to worry about that later right now he had bigger things to worry about, like the game.

Lucas took of his shirt and smiled at his brother who was standing next to him, Nathan smiled back at Lucas and saw his brother get out his basketball jersey out of his locker with the number 3 on it, not only did he see that but he also saw an ink spot on his shoulder blade, Nathan looked at it and read what it said, he looked at it in shock and immediately stood in front of his brother so no one else could see what he just saw.

'Bro…what did you do?' Nathan asked his voice full of disbelief and Lucas looked at him in surprise. Nathan turned him around making him look into his little brother's eyes and letting him lean against his locker with his back.

'What are you talking about Nate?' Lucas asked clearly confused and that's when Nathan realised he really didn't know what he was talking about.

'Have you looked at your right shoulder blade lately because I'm guessing not?' Nathan said and pulled Lucas by his arm and walked to the mirror. He turned him around as Lucas turned his head slightly to see what his brother was babbling about and looked at his shoulder blade in horror.

'What the…oh God.' Lucas said as he saw the tattoo that was now graciously marked on his shoulder blade.

'When did you get that, because I know it wasn't there a few days ago.' Nathan told his brother as he too read the text over and over again. Lucas shook his head at him self and tried to wipe the tattoo away but it was a real one.

'My mom's going to kill me.' Lucas said as the reality started to kick in, he heard Nathan laugh and glared at him.

'Your mom is going to kill you, what about Peyton you know your girlfriend; I don't think she'll be too happy when she reads _'B.P.D_

_My Cheery_

_My Pretty Girl' _

'Seriously Luke could you be any cornier?' Nathan asked his brother who was still staring at the tattoo he would carry with him for the rest of his life, he always swore them off, until he met her.

'You're telling me, Mr. I got hitched at sixteen?' Lucas asked his brother who laughed in response and Lucas soon joined him, after a minute or so of laughing both due to the funny side of all of this and the nervousness Lucas got a glimpse of the tattoo and grew serious again, he sighed and cupped his head in his hands.

----

Brooke was very chipper tonight and Haley thanked whatever high power there was up there for her mood, and for the fact that she hadn't thrown herself at Peyton yet and that was a surprise in itself it was word praying and thanking for.

Haley and Brooke made some small talk and enjoyed being able to talk to each other again, Peyton was sitting in the corner, she had a content smile on her face herself, Brooke could only guess who brought it there and shuddered at the thought of her and Lucas being together.

'Somebody shoot me.' She muttered to herself but still audible enough for Haley to hear who raised her perfectly formed eyebrow at her while Brooke shrugged and laughed it off. Brooke bent down forward to put her hair in a ponytail but she never got a chance to because before she knew what was happening she was being dragged away by Haley who had a death grip on her arm.

'Ow…ow…ow…that hurts Hales!' she yelled and just as they stopped and she was about to yell some more which would only draw attention Haley put her hand on her mouth in order to silence her. Haley looked at her bestfriend and breathed in quickly to one; calm herself two; regain her composure and three; calm herself so she wouldn't yell at Brooke.

'WHAT!' she began but stopped herself when she heard how loud her voice actually was, Brooke eyed her with a confused expression she looked at Haley as if she had gone mad.

'Brooke…what did you do?' Haley asked her voice full of disbelief; Brooke looked at her with astonishment, could Haley be any vaguer.

'Hales I love you but you're kind of creeping me out.' Brooke said as she backed away from Haley slowly, Haley however was not having it and dragged Brooke along with her to the showers. She turned Brooke therefore her back was facing a mirror and held one in her hand.

'Look at your neck, or better yet what's tattooed on it!' Haley said as softly as she could she saw Brooke raise her eyebrow at her, and right then it clicked, she didn't know yet. Brooke looked through the mirror and saw the letters just when her hair stopped in her neck she gasped and tried to wipe it away nevertheless unfortunately for her the letters stayed put haunting her whenever she fixed her eyes on them.

'Oh my God!' Brooke said still staring at the black-greenish letters; she couldn't believe this how could she have been so stupid and careless.

'Yeah you can say that again.' Haley said now also staring at the letters which Brooke would carry with her for the rest of her life she shook her head while she tried to suppress a chuckle however it escaped her lips and in the process she got a glare from Brooke.

'How is this funny tutor-girl, I am marked for life with the words; '_L.E.S _

_ My Broody, Boyfriend' _Brooke told Haley not once averting her gaze.

'Sorry Brooke but I thought you were someone who was totally against marking your boyfriends name on your body…I mean didn't you say it was totally against the power of independent women?' Haley asked her friend who nodded her head with a pout on her lips.

'And now you've marked yourself with someone who isn't even your boyfriend.' Haley started laughing but when she saw Brooke's icy glare she soon stopped.

'Too soon?' she asked her.

'Yeah just a little.' She answered her. Haley hugged her when she saw her close her eyes, she heard a laugh from Brooke and an 'ugh' soon followed, the two girls laughed a little longer before turning on their heels to go through the doors which led to the gym where Brooke was going to have a serious talk with Mr. Scott who was in a lot of trouble.

----

Their eyes locked from afar; blues colliding with hazel; confusion matching confusing, Nathan passed the ball to Lucas and brought him back in the game they were supposed to win, Lucas made the shot and the ball went through the hoop easily without touching the net, he smiled satisfied but soon enough his satisfaction was once again replaced by all sorts of emotions one of them also being anger.

Lucas kept asking himself if Brooke had deliberately made him get a tattoo, if this was also a way for her to set Peyton off, he knew she had been doing that a lot lately. Then he would shake his head, Brooke would never do that to him no matter how mad she was at him she could make very snide remarks and be a world class 'biatch' but she also cared at the end of the day she cared very much. That was a reason why he didn't think Brooke had been Brooke's plan and the fact that she kept sending him the same glares he had been sending her his way.

The bell rang signalling the first half was over, and as fast as his legs could carry him Lucas made his way over to the cheerleaders while Brooke walked to him as well, they both received quizzical gazes from their friends and from everyone who even had the slightest idea of what had been going on between Brooke and Lucas and even Peyton the last couple of years. They heard gasps around them because their friends were witnessing a what was about to be an argument between the two former lovers, or was it still just lovers, were they not done with the heart wrenching love triangle just yet. Did Lucas choose wrong? Why were they eyeing each other that way and not noticing the third party who was staring at them intently with her blonde curls in a ponytail and her arms hanging beside her body sadly.

'We need to talk.' Lucas was the first to speak and Brooke immediately nodded, he looked around and for the first time he saw that all eyes were on both him and Brooke, with not wanting to cause a scene and knowing that either he or Brooke was going to yell he pulled her away while holding her hand. He got a questioning stare from Skills and Mouth and a knowing look from Nathan as he led Brooke to the hallway.

Lucas didn't dare to look the other way too afraid of the look he would see in Peyton's eyes, especially since he was holding Brooke's hand which he didn't even know the reason to he could have easily dragged her away by her arms and it wouldn't have mattered at least not that much as holding hands; it was a statement, he knew it and everyone in that gym knew it, putting the thought aside he tried to think of the task at hand; and that was to ask Brooke while trying to remain as calm as possible what the hell she had done to him.

Brooke was about to have a tantrum while she met Lucas halfway but he quickly cut her off, telling her that they needed to talk. _'We sure do'_ she thought derisively and saw him look around them she followed his gaze and noticed that both Lucas and she were being eyed intently by almost every single person in the gym all the attention was on them she could actually hear people hold their breaths, matters didn't help that they were standing in the middle of the gym.

Brooke felt a huge tingle go down her spine and when she looked down she saw that Lucas' hand was holding hers however bad the situation was she couldn't help but smile, soon though that smile was replaced by a frown as she walked along with Lucas, she needed to focus right now and the first thing she was going to ask L. Scott was what the hell he had done to her.

'What have you done to me!' they both yelled when the door that led to the gym closed behind them with a soft thud. They looked at each other confused before both turned around and showed the other what they were talking about.

'Oh God.' Lucas stated as he looked over his shoulder and saw the letters that were engraved in Brooke's skin, Brooke gasped when she saw Lucas' right shoulder.

'Why do you always have to have such wild ideas?' Lucas asked as he started to pace through the small hallway, this was bad very bad.

'My idea…it was yours, look my mind is vague to say the least of what ever happened last night but I'm still pretty sure it was your idea.' Brooke stated while she watched Lucas pace.

'_Brooke…' Lucas said while both Brooke and him were sitting at a table the seventh or was it eight round of beer had just been ordered, Brooke looked at him and waited for him to continue, they had been talking about all the good times and smiling and laughing and they played some pool just remembering the old times but now when she heard his voice it was void of any kind of ease, or laughter it had been mere seconds ago, and so she listened waited for him to continue._

'_I'm sorry…' he said and Brooke nodded, she told him she was sorry too, but he stopped her he knew she thought his apologies really didn't mean anything anymore but if she'd just let him finish saying why he was sorry they wouldn't be in this rotten place they were to begin with._

'_No you don't understand I'm sorry that I lied…' he told her as she watched him his voice sounded sincere something she hadn't heard in a very long time and she missed it._

'_I know that Lucas but you and Peyton are meant to be together I should have seen that a long time ago.' She answered him sadly, but Lucas however shook his head at her furiously._

'_That is not what I'm talking about here Brooke, I'm sorry that I lied to you and Peyton when I said that it was her I wanted it's not, I still want you I'll always want you, but I don't deserve you not after everything I've done.' He said and Brooke could make out the tears that were forming in his eyes, everything had seemed to be blurry but the words he just spoke made her almost sober up again, that is until they both took huge gulps of their beer and ordered some shots. _

_They were both drinking through the pain and they knew it, but they also knew they weren't ready to admit that not to each other and certainly not to themselves. Lucas got up and smiled a mischievous smile at Brooke which made her raise her eyebrow in surprise and wonder._

_He held out his hand for her take and she accepted the gesture gladly she felt that shudder travel through her body but decided to ignore it, however her body couldn't ignore whatever magical feeling Lucas had evoked in her and just as she was standing her legs buckled making her fall back and conveniently enough crash into Lucas's chest. He held her tight and smiled down at her, they both stared at each other neither said a word and even though they were both drunk they were somehow still quite aware. Lucas started to walk to the exit of the bar and looked down at the brunette who was wondering if this was the end of their fun night, but then Lucas' mouth opened to speak._

'_What's your take on tattoos?' he asked her in a husky voice that made her entire body shiver she laughed out loud and held his hand a little tighter._

'_I don't know, depends…' she answered him with that raspy voice of hers that made Lucas wanted to forget he had a girlfriend and kiss her right there and then._

'Oh my God…' Lucas said as he was brought back to reality after just being in his own little trip down memory lane, realisation struck him and he looked at Brooke '…it was my idea' he realised and Brooke nodded with a smile on her face she couldn't hold it any longer and started laughing. Lucas looked at her as if she was crazy and started to walk towards her.

'Brooke how in the hell is this funny?' Lucas asked the brunette who was laughing in a way that was almost contagious.

'No it's not funny, but just thinking of Peyton's reaction God I want to be there when she sees it!' she tried to say between her giggles. Lucas shook his head and actually started laughing a little bit himself too; trust Brooke to laugh at a moment that really isn't funny at all disastrous is the better word for it.

----

'Uh oh' both Rachel and Haley thought as they saw a fuming Peyton walking out of the boy's locker room and was now heading towards Brooke who was talking to Mouth by the bleachers.

'Seriously your marking my boyfriend with tattoos now, are you serious?' she asked Brooke and by now the boy's locker room was empty and all the boys were standing in the gym where not even a half hour ago they had yet again experienced what it felt like to prevail, the cheerleaders watched the two notorious best friends some with excitement not being able to wait to see what was going to happen next and some watched them with sadness feeling sorry for the two girls who once seemed to be inseparable.

'Well you were kissing my boyfriend so I guess it's only fair.' Brooke answered Peyton calmly she wanted to walk away but Peyton's hand turned Brooke around fiercely, this felt like another déjà vu.

'Why can't you stay the hell away from him?' Peyton asked Brooke, she had seen the tattoo and Lucas explained to her what happened the night before which only made her angrier than she already was.

'You did not just ask me that your one kind of a hypocrite you know that!' Brooke yells and this time there was no trace of calmness in her voice now her tone was filled with ferocity and misery, but she doesn't want to feel vulnerable not when everyone is watching so she pushes Peyton away and Peyton stumbles back.

'Brooke I'm sorry but I can't help that I love him!' Peyton screams and again everyone watches the two girls in awe, they also glance sometimes at Lucas who is watching the scene unfold itself, he hears Peyton's voice and knows she's crying, again the feeling of wanting to be the protective guy is there but this time it's not Peyton he wants to protect it's the girl who's standing in front of Peyton that he wants to protect, to rescue, a girl whose syllables he has imprinted in his skin for the entire world to see.

'I hate you, you know that.' Brooke states and again her voice is calm yet cold while she eyes her bestfriend, she finally lets the tears fall down her face and shakes her head while laughing bitterly.

'I want nothing more than to just be like you and take him away from you, but then I know that as much as I hate you I also love you and want you to be happy.' She states, Lucas is starting to walk now and stops when he's standing next to them.

'But then I remind myself that it's always me thinking of you while you never ever thought of me and my happiness, Lucas…' she starts and looks at him she smiles sadly and doesn't bother to wipe the tears away knowing that even more will follow.

'He made me happy Peyton but you took it away from me, the only thing that made _me _happy…you say people always leave but the people that leave you don't have a choice and they love you…but the people that left me always choose to leave and that is why I hate you.' she says with so much venom and disgust it makes the people around them cringe, Peyton lets a sob escape her mouth and wants to talk to Brooke but she can't because Brooke is sobbing now too while walking away.

Peyton looks at her boyfriend whose gaze is following Brooke's small figure and she wonders what he'll do next as do the rest of the people in the gym, and her fears are confirmed when he shoots her an apologetic look before running after the brunette.

'Brooke!' he yells and with that he's gone and everyone in the gym starts wondering. _What the hell just happened?_

**Don't forget to review! And trust me there's going to be enough bitchy Brooke, I just don't want her to seem unaffected by everything!**


	4. Time without consequence

**Hey you guys I was in Paris for my holiday so I didn't have time to update and for that you have my sincere apology!**

**Treenuh: **Thanks for your reviews and yes you're right Peyton does deserve it all!

**Brucas90: **Thanks for the review keep 'em coming!

**tinycapricorn12:** Very glad you liked the tattoo thing I was thinking about actually doing it or not 'cause in the end it's still very cheesy to brand your boyfriends/girlfriend's name on your body but the kicker is that they aren't dating which I think makes it more fun. Well I want to tell you that Peyton is going to say this and that, but it would be no fun when the chapter is just below…gehehe thank you very much for your review!

**bornagainbrucasfan: **Snap lol sorry just had to do it, thanks very much for your review meant a lot to me and I wanted so much more Brucas in the fourth season even if they weren't a couple at least give us some descent Brucas scenes, just like they did with Pucas all the time while Brucas were dating but the 4th season was all Peyton/Lucas/Derek crap…ugh, and you're right the 5th season better be Brucas or I'm going to personally…I don't know what I'll do but it ain't gonna be good! Gehehe, keep reviewing pretty please:D

**bella:** Nice to know you did like the tattoos too, I didn't know if I wanted to go through with the idea but I eventually did and well I got to say it's being received very well by the audience, haha.

**BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE**: Geheheh I love the fact that you're so excited, and you're so right every time I saw or still see them kiss when I watch reruns I gag and have to have a bucket next to me when I throw up…seriously I literally closed my eyes when I saw them having sex and Brooke walk in on them with Skills and Mouth and then I cried…pathetic huh? Lol thanks for the review!

**brucasforever77**: Yay Lucas went after Brooke, it was about time I mean don't you think I'm glad you liked what Brooke told Peyton I had a hard time writing it because I think so much more should have been said there but then again it couldn't be too long, because in the end there is one major issue right! Anyways very glad you liked it, please keep reviewing!

**Olivia**: Thanks for the review and I will!

**Prettyadorable: **Glad you liked the tattoos, some things never change :P!

**Wtlozy: **Thanks for the complement, and I hope this is soon enough although I highly doubt it! Ghehe thanks for the review!

**CheeryFan: **Hey Gia, I'm glad you like the story so far, very happy you liked the little things I put in their, with the bike and the tattoos I don't know I guess they were just mandatory you know…especially when it comes to B. Davis, also very happy you liked Rachel I try to write her as best as I can and I don't know if it's always believable, and I know what you mean with the Pucas in season 4 you know what so disrespectful and hateful, and what angers me so much, is that 2 years, 2 seasons we fell in love with our Brucas because Mark made them look like the epic love, he wrote a love that would not alter only to have us Brucas fans who believe in them pull the rug from underneath us and make us watch the sickening gruesome twosome I like to call Pucas…ugh! Very glad you liked the tattoos, and the ending now about Lucas following Brooke you'll just see what's going to happen there!

**Okay that were my thank you's I thank every single one of you and I hope you'll review, now please don't kill after reading this chapter, and also in the next chapter there will be some action involving none other than Brooke Davis! Woohoo!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the characters of One Tree Hill!**

**Love Noor.**

**Chapter 4: Time without consequence**

'Brooke…will you wait please!' Lucas yelled as he started to pick up his pace, Brooke rolled her eyes when she heard he was chasing her but stopped dead in her tracks when she heard his plea.

'What do you want?' Brooke asked and both she and Lucas knew it wasn't the simple 'what-do-you-want' it was more than that it was a question regarding the choices or if you like mistakes he made. They watched each other with so much intensity their hearts beating miles a minute in their chests.

'Are you okay?' he asked in return wanting to avoid the question, Brooke shook her head.

'What do you want!?' she screamed this time, her raspy voice quivered and her eyes burned into his with so much passion making both of them oblivious to the rest of the world, they were standing in the parking lot and not even a year ago had Brooke told him to fight for her at that exact same spot.

'I don't know.' Lucas answered her as honest as he could, he shrugged helplessly, waiting for her to react but not once did he expect the reaction he got. Brooke pushed herself into his chest, and held onto the back of his neck for dear life, she then met his lips with her own, they kissed with so much passion and intensity that they could literally feel the blood pumping through their veins once again, something that felt so odd yet so familiar. Brooke broke the kiss and looked into his eyes once again, seeing the confusion displayed in them but if she was not mistaking also the love.

'Figure it out!' was the last thing she told him before she began walking away back to her bike, and drove off leaving Lucas standing there with so much questions and emotions running through his body and mind he couldn't make out any of them, only one and that was that he had missed feeling like this.

---

'Hey mom' Lucas said as he made his way to the counter early in the morning, after his conversation he had with Brooke last night he had gone down to the River Court to think and in the process he shut his phone off; he didn't want to hear from anyone right now.

'Hi my boy.' Karen walked towards her son and kissed him lightly on his cheek, she saw the melancholy and mystification in his eyes and remembered what Haley told her just minutes ago when she came to get some breakfast for her and Nathan.

'So have you talked to Peyton after last night?' Karen asked him and when she saw her son look down at his breakfast she distinguished it as a 'no', she didn't say anything however she just looked at her son who seemed to have so much stuff going on in his life and the centre of his issues always seemed to draw back to a certain curly haired blonde and a petite brunette with a cheeriness that would make the saddest people smile.

'I don't know what to do anymore ma' Lucas told his mother after he had pushed his plate aside, he was in no state to eat and the smell of the food only made him feel nauseous.

'It's okay son you'll know what you need to do…you always do.' Karen said assertively and when she did she held his strong and big hand in hers giving it a reassuring squeeze, the couple smiled at each other but Karen could see it wasn't a joyful smile it was a cheerless smile one she hadn't seen in a very long time, the last time she had seen it if she remembered correctly was when Brooke was still living in her house and told her that Karen had nothing to worry about because she and Lucas were just friends.

---

Days went by and Lucas and Peyton were still a couple claiming that their relationship was worth trying for, both knowing that they needed to make this work, Lucas knowing it or else he had lost his 'one' over nothing and Peyton knowing it or else she had lost her only moral support, her only family over nothing.

The two blondes were still in a relationship, but not a loving one, Lucas avoided Peyton as much as possible and whenever she brought Brooke up he would ignore her name and continue reading his book, whenever she wanted him to yell at her he didn't, she just wanted to be acknowledged and right now she was everything but.

There was a small get together at Deb's house for the teenagers, just a night of going down that lovely trip down memory lane before they all had to graduate in two months and all go their separate ways, Deb and Karen were making dinner, while Nathan, Haley, Lucas, Peyton, Brooke, Mouth and Rachel were talking amongst themselves.

Lucas and Peyton sat together in the corner of the living room she was trying so hard to not let anything get to her, the reason that Lucas had been ignoring her ever since Brooke and her 'fight' not get to her, but it did get to her, and it did hurt her…and she had a hard time with everything.

Peyton got up, she was tired of being ignored, of being a person her boyfriend no longer saw, and just as she was about to make her way out of the living room and out of the house Lucas got up as well following her confused, trying to figure out a reason why she suddenly seemed so upset. His hand went to grab her arm and turn her around making her stop dead in her tracks.

'What Lucas?' Peyton spit out she watched her boyfriend's eyes change into ice cold blues, a look he only reserved for his father, one he never gave her and upon seeing his eyes a shiver ran down Peyton's spine, she quickly shook her head and mirrored his gaze with one of her own.

'Never mind…I'll talk to you later, when you've calmed down.' Lucas said and started to walk away but before he could make any more steps and sit back in his previous spot on the couch Peyton's voice startled him.

'Oh so that's all I get you walk away…' Peyton asked him the tone of her voice was thick with unshed tears and boiled up anger, desperation even.

'Peyton we'll talk later.' Lucas told the curly blonde who shook her head while letting a bitter laugh escape her mouth.

'What do I have to do?' she asked him her voice now close to a scream, tears were pooling in her brown eyes, tears which she desperately tried to push back as she closed her eyelids shut, she didn't want to cry in front of him, he didn't have to see her cry something she had been doing for the past few weeks, sometimes he was the reason for her tears, other times it was Brooke, and most of the time she, herself was the reason for her own tears.

'What…?' Lucas asked puzzled as he walked back to his girlfriend standing in front of her with confused eyes, both blondes were oblivious to the prying ears and eyes which seemed locked on their forms.

'What do I have to do to make you care…to make you stop ignoring me, I just want you to care!' she yelled and by now the tears were streaming down her rosy cheeks freely as the thick tears made their way down Peyton's face she made no attempt to wipe them away, she was tired of hiding herself behind this facade, behind huge walls which seemed to go on forever, she was just tired.

'What do I have to do…oh wait I know…maybe I'll just tell you we're a couple who are dating non-exclusively, and then I'll just sleep with Chris Keller.' Peyton yelled and by now she didn't even see Lucas anymore the tears blocked her vision, she soon continued not letting him get a word in, she had to let this out.

'Oh but wait that won't work either because I'm not Brooke Davis!' with that Lucas closed his eyes, he had been waiting for her to snap but now she had snapped in front of all of their friends and one of the people who was there was Brooke, his eyes searched the living room for any unexpected eaves dropping or prying eyes, as he did he wished he hadn't seeing as every pair of eyes seemed to be fixed on Peyton and himself.

Peyton followed Lucas gaze and kicked herself mentally for saying that out loud, her eyes locked with the brunette she loved so much and when they did, brown meeting hazel green she felt a sudden guilt rush through her, and looked down shamefully never noticing that Brooke did the same thing, al though it was not so much guilt that she was feeling she felt sympathy.

Peyton felt trapped and the only way to not feel that sickening emotion anymore was to flee the scene, and she soon did leaving all of her friends and her boyfriend behind confounded and some enraged by the entire scene.

Lucas soon followed Peyton with one last apologetic glance towards Brooke he left and got in his own car when he saw his girlfriend speed off as fast as she could, he had two choices, one either pretend nothing was going on something he had been doing the previous days, or two go after her and talk this through once and for all, Lucas being Lucas chose the latter if he had learned anything from his relationship with Brooke, the first and the second it was that whenever something was going on whether it was something minor or major, being in a relationship you have to talk about it, yell about it, it didn't really matter how you did it just as long as you communicated.

Trying to ignore a problem something Lucas Eugene Scott was very good at, was however not the best idea because eventually the problems will caught up with you and blow up in your face, or they will come between you and your lover and the only thing that can come of that is that you lose the love of your life, something that happened to Lucas, while he tried to ignore Brooke's insecurities, and in the end her insecurities and his ignorance got the better of both of them, leaving them miserable and one of them alone.

Lucas drove out of his brother's driveway with only one thought in mind; he had to talk to Peyton.

---

It seemed like Lucas had been gone hours, he was emotionally and physically drained when he parked his car yet again in his brother's driveway, they talked long and there was some yelling but in the end they both apologized and he gave her a kiss goodnight while she lay in her bed, they said there goodbyes and Lucas was back in his car sighing loudly while driving back to Deb's house.

He saw her and his heart immediately started racing again, she was sitting in the grass and smiled at him before he even made his way towards her, Brooke Davis stared into the darkness, a darkness which epitomized her emotions, she sat there her hazel green eyes staring into nothing, slightly shivering and waiting for him to sit next to her, when he eventually did after some long dreaded seconds she took in a deep breath.

'Hey…' Lucas started and Brooke replied with a 'hey' herself, they sat in silence for a while not an awkward one a content one, words were not needed for they both knew how the other felt considering they both felt the same, yet somehow Lucas needed to explain…he needed words now more than ever and Brooke started to talk as if she had just read his mind.

'How's Peyton?' she asked silently as Lucas held onto her words while wondering if he had heard her wrong, he knew better than to think Brooke didn't care about Peyton anymore, Peyton was all she had and she was Brooke's family, you can hate your family and be mad at them but in the end they're still your family, therefore Lucas knew that Brooke still loved her and cared about her, he just never expected her to ask _him_ how her 'former' bestfriend was.

'She's…okay…we talked about everything.' Lucas said and Brooke merely nodded, she didn't know what else she had to say and so she stayed quiet waiting for Lucas to speak again.

'We're still a couple…' he stated, not really knowing why he said it but he just did and when he saw Brooke's eyes he knew she needed to hear him say something regarding their relationship, she needed some clarity and he gave her all the clarity she needed.

He could have just left it at that and gotten up while going back into the house and not look back, not say anything more, his words had been loud and clear and even though he didn't know why he said that he had and so he thought about just getting up and leaving but his heart told him he needed to explain it to her, he owed her that; and of course several other things.

'We're going to try and make it work; I have to try Brooke…' Lucas told her, his hand travelled down to hers and he held her small cold hand in his big strong one, upon the touch their chemicals reacted, sending shivers down their spines, forming huge butterflies in their stomach, making their hands sweat and their heart beats fasten, Brooke's eyes locked with his.

'I owe it to myself and Peyton to try and make this work…but most of all I owe it to you, I don't deserve you and I know that.' He added waiting for her response Brooke wanted to tell him otherwise, but somehow she couldn't.

'Brooke…' Lucas said trying to get Brooke's attention, she looked at him once again and he saw the tears on her cheeks his other hand cupped Brooke's right side of her face in his hand and he wiped the tears away with his thumb trying hard not to lean in and kiss her, she looked so beautiful, delicate even with her eyes shining due to the unshed tears and her cheeks a little bit rosy both due to the cold and her tears and then there were her lips which had a slight red colour and were alluring him, making it even more hard not to be tempted to kiss her.

'I love you, you know that?' he asked her and just as the worlds rolled from his tongue did he realise what he had just said, surely it wasn't wrong for him to tell her that he loved her, he did still love her, with every fibre of his being did he love her, there was nothing wrong with saying that to her.

'I know…' she replied, she knew he loved her ever since they started dating but that was just it he wasn't in love with her, he just loved her and sadly enough that wasn't enough for their relationship, Brooke needed someone who was in love with her, whose heart ached in a good way when they were around her and in a bad way when they weren't, God only knew if she would ever have that, that real epic love.

'It's good that you're trying…' Brooke finally said referring to what Lucas had told her just minutes ago.

'You wouldn't be you if you didn't want to make things work.' Brooke said and when she tried to give him a sad smile a sob escaped with it, the two teenagers who seemed to live like adults with all the responsibilities and problems they had to endure watched each other.

'Brooke…' Lucas started when he heard her sob, again his heart broke for her, and again the guilt came rushing through him, he hated to think that he caused her that pain, that he was the reason for her tears nevertheless he knew he was.

'It's okay…' she cut him off and nodded her head. 'It means I wasn't wrong about you.' Brooke said and leaned in a little to brush her soft lips against his, it was her way of a goodbye and Lucas knew it, it wasn't deep nor was it passionate, it was however meaningful.

Once again another sob escaped her lips, and another followed and then another and another, and another until the quiet night was filled with Brooke Davis heart breaking cries, Lucas had to do everything in his control not to let his own tears pour down his face, right now he had to be strong for her, he needed to hold her and so he did, he held her tight.

She was clinging to his body for her dear life, and Lucas held her too as close as humanly possible they held each other neither saying a word, Brooke's sobs subsided but the tears kept flowing and soon one tear escaped Lucas eye and he made no attempt to wipe it away for it would blend with Brooke's tears the moment it would drip of his jaw.

Brooke finally got up and looked down at Lucas she gave him one last sad smile and nodded her head at him, not to confirm anything or give him an answer just because.

'Goodbye Broody…' she said silently and waited for him to reply when Lucas saw her eyes and her sad smile he drew in a deep breath which didn't seem to give him enough air, he tried not to let another tear fall even though his eyes were full of them.

'Take care pretty girl.' He said using her nickname one he had given her, yes she was a pretty girl but that was not all it meant to Lucas the nickname meant so much more, she was of course beautiful she had this obvious beauty that anyone even a blind person could see, but she was so pretty on the inside.

Lucas and Brooke gazed into each others eyes for some mere moments and before he knew it she was gone walking towards her black bike and riding away on it as fast as she could leaving Lucas to think about what he had done tonight, leaving Lucas alone with his thoughts which seemed to haunt him with questions and wondering whether or not he had lost the love of his life tonight.

**Please leave me a review:D**


	5. Everyone who pretended

Hey guys I know it's been a while but here's a new chapter and I'm really hoping you'll like it, trust me the part you have to read later in the chapter was just as hard for me to write as it is going to be for you to read but once again trust me I've made it okay...anyways thank you all so much for your reviews, I loved them all and if you don't know it yet they mean a lot to me! Thanks so much, and just read this chapter and let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: Don't own any of the characters.

Love Noor please review!

Chapter 5: Everyone who pretended

No change, it's what doctors told the family and loved once of patients who were in a coma, it's what the Ravens got to hear when they were seated in their locker-room after a long hard match of basketball which went once again undefeated and it was the exact same thing which was happening to Peyton and Lucas's relationship, there was absolutely _no change, _not even one hint of progress had been made and lord only knew how hard Peyton was trying it just didn't seem to work.

She knew why it didn't work, it always let up to one thing or better yet one person, her former bestfriend Brooke Penelope Davis, that's why when Peyton saw her in the library she needed to ask her, she knew she had no right to ask her but this was killing her the not knowing what was going on, trying so hard every time to get close to Lucas but only finding him deep in thought, thoughts she knew everything about, or who they were about.

'Brooke…' she said yet when the words left her mouth they seemed to come out as a question as if she was making sure if she was not walking on enemy grounds but knowing that how they had acted lately she was.

'Don't even try to talk to me.' Brooke said and started to walk away but stopped in her tracks turning around and looking at Peyton.

'You're lonely aren't you?' she asked and her voice sounded like one with so much understanding and sympathy when she saw the blonde nod she let out a bitter laugh shaking her head.

'Yeah well you wouldn't have been if you would have kept your feelings to yourself, or when you told me the minute I asked before I even fell for Lucas if you liked him, if you would've told me the truth right there and then I would've stayed away but you didn't.' Brooke said and suddenly all the sympathy had left her voice as well as the understanding.

'Peyton do you honestly think that because you're miserable we can be buddies again?' she asked and when she saw Peyton just stare at her she knew she wouldn't get an answer.

'Well we're not you're the reason all three of us are lonely and you're the reason I am miserable…so suck it up, stop whining please it's getting old!' Brooke yelled and gave her one last look of disgust as she stormed out of the library the only place she could silently think of him for the books would remind him of his love of reading and the library they would go to whenever he wanted to purchase a new book, _now that's ruined for me too! _Brooke thought as she closed the door behind her and left Peyton to sit back in the chair which had been previously occupied by Brooke looking down at the table embarrassed.

----

School had been tiring to say the least and Lucas thanked whatever lord was up there that he got home in one piece not only did he have to witness one of Brooke and Peyton's ugly arguments, he also had to choose once again but this time he was tired of choosing, so he left with his hands up he shook his head and walked away.

The door to his bedroom opened and he was already getting up when he saw it was Peyton but she stopped him saying 'No don't get up.' Lucas sat back down leaning his head against the hardboard waiting for her to join him because she always did.

Once again Peyton did not disappoint when she lay down on top of him and the two stared into each other's eyes merely listening to one another hearts beat.

----

'Get up…up..up…up!' Rachel yelled when she opened the door to her bedroom and saw Brooke lie on the bed once again hugging a pillow close to her chest.

'Rach please I want to be alone!'

'Slut could you be any more pathetic, you're not going to win Lucas back if you are lying here like some wretched widow! Stop whining already so he chose Peyton over you, he told you loud and clear that he loves you!' Rachel was by now yelling.

'Are you trying to make me feel better?' Brooke asked her sarcastically while Rachel smiled mischievously at her and shook her head no.

'Okay Brooke listen to me, you have someone who loves you and you're just scared because of that.' Rachel told the girl who she had gotten close to very quickly in the last couple of months.

'And why would that scare me?' Brooke asked as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and sat up straight in her bed.

'Because you two might not make it and your heart will be broken again, but you know what Brooke cowering away in your room and letting that skank have Lucas will not make things better, _you_ need to fight for him' the red head said with much determination and confidence in her voice.

'You told him to fight for you and he did, but he was right…you never fought for him.'

'I did fight for him!' Brooke yelled as she got out of her bed and stood in front of Rachel with her sleeping attire somewhat dishevelled her brown hair pulled back into a messy ponytail.

'When?…when you were with that dude Felix, or when you were insistent that you'd date other people while dating each other, or maybe you fought for him when you were riding Chris Keller while he was telling me all this crap about you being the ONE for him!' Rachel's patience was as good as gone, she was tired of this new Brooke, this was not the 'biatch' she'd befriended a few months ago, this Brooke Davis was too altruistic, and it made Rachel want to slit her wrists.

'Oh God I really did do all that, how could I be so selfish I told him to fight for me, while I never fought for him, _he _was right.' She said while reality started to sink in, Brooke shook her head and held her head in both hands sighing in them while she did so.

'Thank you!' Rachel said while she stared up at the ceiling.

----

This was the moment both had been waiting for…right? Lucas questioned himself the entire time, that this was what he had been waiting for the entire time but then why did it feel so incredibly wrong.

His hands found their way to her shirt he ridded her of it and looked at her body she was amazing but if that were true if she really was that great then why wasn't he excited to kiss her, why didn't his heart beat a mile a minute when her hands touched his skin.

Peyton locked her eyes with Lucas' and smiled reassuringly at him, she leaned into him and their lips locked, her tongue begging for entrance once they kissed he gave her the entrance she wanted and their tongues became one dancing together in the lover's kiss, her hands went to his back and she held onto him.

They broke apart and once again watched one another, the passion picked up after the gaze they seemed to have lost themselves in and all clothing was disregarded and piled up into one heap on the floor next to his bed.

The two kissed passionately heatedly, Lucas closed his eyes to rid himself of the image and thoughts which were haunting him, he opened his eyes again and was confused, _Brooke, she smiled up at him and her dimples were shown, _he shook his head and opened his eyes again and this time was met with Peyton again who looked at him confused.

'Are you okay?' she asked him and he nodded, they rolled over and this time Lucas' back was resting on his bed with Peyton lying on top of him, she kissed his chest and he inhaled deeply, her lips felt good on his chest and his stomach the passion got the better of him and he held her brown locks in his hand, _brown? The girl looked up once again, and her hazel eyes had the same twinkle they always had, her dimples were in full display and his heart was beating a mile a minute._

'_I love you Lucas' _Brooke's image or the image Lucas had in his head spoke yet Peyton's voice could be heard and that's when he saw Peyton again starring at him concerned yet content at the same time and reality hit him like a brick wall he sat up quickly in his bed and before Peyton could say anything he was standing next to his bed frantically in search for his boxers and a shirt.

'I'm sorry Peyton…I can't do this...' he said anxiously while pacing up and down his room, he met his girlfriend's worried hurt eyes and felt bad, but he was too confused and shaken up by the previous minute to apologize to her.

'What…Luke, what's going on?' Peyton asked the sheets were now securely locked around her body as she stood in front of her boyfriend.

'I just can't, I need you to go.' The words escaped his mouth before he could even think about how this might hurt her, he really did need her to go, he needed to think alone, about what the hell just happened, what boyfriend is about to have sex with his girlfriend yet keeps picturing making love to his ex-girlfriend.

'Okay I'll go.' And with that she grabbed her clothes put them on in a jiff and left without saying anything else, no goodbye, no explain it to me, nothing she just left because when she looked into his eyes she could not see anything there, and that scared her more than she could ever imagine.

---

Whenever Lucas needed some time to think he went to either one place or another, the first place was to go to the River Court and the other had just picked up recently, it was Keith's grave, something he never wanted to be a place where he could find his sanity seeing as he never wanted Keith to have a grave, yet he always felt like there was still a part of Keith there and so he went to that one place where he could find peace and he hoped some words or signs of wisdom.

Lucas chose to go to Keith this time around he had a lot to think about and not even a basketball could help him with this problem, this was big maybe even too big to have answers to nonetheless the blued eyes blonde still chose to go because if there were answers to his question they would definitely be there, so he started walking with one destination in mind.

He didn't know what he should have done while he made his way to his uncle's grave when his eyes laid upon her, should he have walked away or not. She stared at the grave and her back was turned to him but he could easily make out it was her, and as he made his way towards her he could hear her voice she was talking to him making Lucas stop dead in his tracks and listen to her.

'I don't know what's going on with me…I want Peyton to be happy and I want Lucas to be happy, but do I have to hurt so much for their happiness, why do I need to be the one that's miserable and alone Keith?' Brooke asked the man she had thought so fondly of, Lucas closed his eyes for a few seconds and breathed in deeply, still he kept silent and listened intently as she continued.

'Ever since you died everything has been going down hill, Lucas doesn't talk about his emotions to anyone, Peyton and I have fought to many times to count, we fought Keith, I have never ever laid one hand upon her and now we can't stand each other, she's my bestfriend or at least she was my bestfriend until she decided that she actually did love Lucas…ugh…' she stopped and sighed tears had been cascading down her pale cheeks and she mad no attempt to wipe them away the sobs soon followed the tears.

There she sat beautifully broken, crying her heart out to someone who she had not been very close to and the only reason she had spoken to him was because her previous boyfriend was his cousin yet she had always somehow felt very strongly about Keith, always felt like she could trust him, he would always be there to talk to her whenever she needed someone to give her some much needed advice.

Keith Scott was the father figure Brooke had never had although he didn't know that nobody knew that only Brooke knew it, she had always seen him as a person who would always be there, who would never leave and right now, right in this moment as she sat there and cried while some raindrops started to fall on her and next to her she hated ever thinking that, she hated being so naïve and letting herself belief that he would always be there, but there was not much she could do about it now.

And so she cried, she cried her heart out oblivious to the boy who was standing some mere feet away from her and in very good hearing distance, the rain started to pick up and Brooke's tears mended with the ice cold rain there was no confirmation she had been crying other than her puffy red eyes.

'Why does everything have to be so hard, why aren't you hear anymore to be there for Lucas and Karen they need you so much and they miss you…I miss you Keith…' she finished and that's when she knew she had had enough for one day enough tears and enough depression, but just as she got up she was met with those blues indigo eyes she had fallen in love with only three years ago.

'What are you doing here?' she immediately asked and Lucas shook his head slightly taken aback by her change in attitude and her forcefulness but he knew he shouldn't have this was after all Brooke Davis.

'I could ask you the same thing.' Lucas said they stared at one another something they had been doing a lot lately staring and having conversations which led to crying and screaming than coming to an understanding an understanding neither knew what it was about.

'Forget I asked.' Brooke said she picked up her purse and held her trench coat close to her now already soaked body, the sky had darkened in a tremendous rapid time and she shivered slightly, of course she had to be on a cemetery with the one boy she loved and over a hundred of dead people in a heavy storm, she picked up her pace and started to walk away, not once looking back at Lucas who was just standing there.

'Brooke!' Lucas ran after her through the rain which he didn't care about and stopped her with his hands turning her around so she was facing him, her eyes were however locked on the ground they were standing just outside the cemetery, and the white bridge was on one side, the bridge Lucas had been standing on with Keith, on the other side of them was the old brown bridge Brooke and Peyton could have been found sitting under when they had been nine and in the years that came after.

'I lied…' Brooke said barely audible, and Lucas squinted his eyes showing her he hadn't heard her but trying to listen intently to what she was saying.

Brooke didn't speak though she kept her eyes averted while Lucas tried his best not to break down completely she was so hard to get through it was monumentally frustrating. When she didn't speak for another good thirty seconds he asked 'What?' and so she looked up at him, once again he could see the tears in her eyes and once again his heart broke at the sight of her tears.

'I lied…when I told you, you were a better guy for trying to make things work I lied!' she told him her voice raspier than he had ever heard it her eyes giving away so much emotion than he had ever seen and her heart so vulnerable and alone than his worst thoughts could have imagined, he looked away ashamed and waited for her to continue anxiously.

'You're not and I don't know why I'm telling you this I just know that I am.' She said and waited for him to response, they stared into each others eyes but neither of them said a word, with not standing the silence and having so much more to say Brooke continued before she lost all her guts.

'I do believe that when Peyton and you are together it probably makes all the sense in the world, but Lucas _I _love you…' her voice was filled with desperation and so much emotion, sadness, regret, but most of all love undeniable, never ending, vibrating; love. Her eyes were laced with tears however she did not blink and so they did not fall.

'I do I love you in a really really really big; _kink my eyebrow because I know you think it's cute, quote Camoo even though I've never actually read anything of the guy, miss my parents but never say it because I'm afraid you'll get worried, don't care if everyone hears my embarrassing speech nor if we get pneumonia because I need to tell you why I love you, _kind of way. So be the other guy and choose me!' and with that she was gone she ran got on her bike and drove off as fast as she could leaving a confused Lucas behind who hung his head back in frustration and sighed heavily, he wanted to be with Brooke but there was this incessant guilt feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever he was with her, he didn't know what to do anymore, he didn't know who to choose, the devil on his shoulder said one thing and the angel the other.

The rain kept pouring and Lucas's glance never averted, they stayed locked on the road Brooke had just previously fled, thoughts kept swirling in his mind and he was literally dealing with one of the biggest emotional tempest he had ever had, he knew this time though that everything had to be dealt with once and for all.


	6. Left on the bed

**Hey guys I'm so happy you liked the previous chapter! Now I have to apologize for my lack of updates I know it's truly horrific and I'm deeply very truly deeply ashamed but here it is another update, another chapter! I'm hoping you're going to like it seeing as it's pretty different from what I had originally planned for this story but that idea kind of lost my interest, if something is not clear please feel free to ask!**

**Well I'll stop the rambling and I'm hoping you'll like it just for your info I've jumped (5 years) just thought I'd save you some time to do the maths!**

**Enjoy reading and please leave me a review!**

**Love Noor!**

**Chapter 6: Left on the bed**

January 2012 (Present day)

'Miss are you ready to order?' the waiter asked her once again with an aggravated tone he had come to her table a good number of three times and every single time she just shook her head and continued to take a sip of her cold wine, this time however she turned around in her seat and that's when he noticed the solemn look on her face.

It was emotionless but somewhere deep down you could see the hurt look in her eyes; she shook her head and opened her mouth to talk. 'No sir I'm waiting on someone.' She said rather formerly which made the man nod in return, they smiled briefly at one another and with that he walked away ready to take the orders of his fellow guests.

She had read it a million times just because she wanted to understand the words she needed to understand them because it was all reality, the words written in a calligraphic fond, the words she now despised. Her eyes fell on the lettering once again and she inhaled deeply every single time she read it she seemed to understand everything so much less it seemed everything was slipping away.

The person she had been waiting on was finally walking towards her, they had matured she could see that from a distance but she wasn't surprised.

It was odd wasn't it, five years ago that person was such a big part of her life, and now they merely said a few kind words when crossing each other at another birthday, or another Christmas party, they did however see each other more than once every week. They sat in front of her and she smiled politely but she wasn't going to be unceremonious with the person she was going to be as formal as she could and so she asked; 'Is it true.' She asked and they laughed bitterly she could tell.

'Well there goes being familiar and nice to each other.' They said but she didn't laugh she didn't even crack a small smile.

'Is it true?' she repeated once again and pushed the paper in their direction and that's when everything fell into place, that's why she had called not because she wanted to have a nice old talk, or to become acquainted again just because she wanted to know.

'Yeah it's true…' they said and with that she smiled and got up.

'That's all I needed to hear.' While getting up she started to walk away, but _he_ got up as well and started to follow her, some people turned around to see what all the fuss was about but when they saw it was nothing they should be concerned with they continued to eat.

'Brooke, please don't walk away you've done it for years now.' He said and tried to grab her once they were outside, with no luck though.

'That's because it keeps me from being humiliated all the time Lucas.' She yelled, some tears made their way down her face she looked hurt just like she always looked whenever he hurt her.

'Brooke please…talk to me.' Lucas pleaded with her; they were facing each other, blue orbs staring into big brown ones. He could hear her sigh and saw her shake her head.

'Your getting married to her Lucas what else is there to say.' And with that she started to retreat, walking across the parking lot, and keeping her eyes fixed on the bike she still owned and hoped to get away with before he started to talk to her, too bad though to no avail he was already talking to her.

'Brooke just stop, please just stop.' He now yelled, he held her arm in his strong hand and Brooke noticed he had gotten stronger, much stronger, he had gotten broader around his shoulder, that was of course because of basketball which he still played incessantly along with his brother they were the two stars of the Bob Cats, both Co-captains either having their seemingly perfect love life.

'Why are you doing this to her and me Luke… ' Brooke said, he looked at her and noticed she'd gotten even more beautiful, she was flawless, if that was possible, he'd seen her two weeks ago and still every time he saw her she was more beautiful than the previous time.

'I can't believe I believed you when you said you'd choose me.' Brooke alleged she breathed in deeply. 'No you know what I really can't believe that I am the other woman…I'm the other woman Lucas something I promised myself I would never be, because I knew how much it hurt me when Peyton had been the other woman in our triangle, how could I do that.' The tears were subsiding and she was done talking the sobs stopped wrecking her body tremendously.

'Just wait a minute Brooke please.' He pleaded with her, she shivered slightly her helmet was in her hands.

'I'm done waiting for you Lucas.' Getting up on her bike she was gone and he was left standing in the middle of the street watching her retreating figure as the cold humid New York wind made him shiver to some extend.

---

'Brooke open the door please…' he said another in coming call went unanswered he knew who it was, he knew who it had been the previous nine times, the calls were from one person and one person only, Peyton Anne Sawyer soon to be Scott, something that made him sick to his stomach right now.

'Brooke open the door!' Lucas yelled much more forcefully, it was raining now and he was getting colder with every second that went by.

'Go away Lucas!' she screamed and he yelled back at her, the screaming match seemed to be endless.

'Luke please just go away…I'm tired of fighting for you…' she said in a tired voice, she was drained all those years had been sucking the life out of her.

'_I lied…when I told you, you were a better guy for trying to make things work I lied!'_

_---_

'_Brooke can I talk to you for a second.' He asked her and as they made their way down the hall she could felt her heart beating a mile a minute and she had to do everything in her power to not stop him right there and then and ask him what he wanted, or better yet who he wanted._

_Brooke looked around her, she smiled up at him and saw the way he inhaled deeply, her smile immediately fell because she knew, she knew what he was going to do, she knew who he wanted and that little piece of information made her want to crawl back into her bed and never come out of it again._

'_Tell me…just tell me.' _

'_I'm not going to break up with her, she's happy and I can't do that to her, nor can I do it to you, I've put you both through too much already and now I just have to stick by my choice even though it is a choice I wish to reverse every single day.' He told her, his tears were filled with unshed tears and she knew, she knew he still thought he was the one for her, he was just Lucas, he had his morals and ethics too, and even though he was a dense boy sometimes he was still a very sweet and loving guy._

'_Oh okay…' Brooke started. 'I just want you to know…that I'm not holding anything against you, you're a not a bad guy Luke, I'm just saying I understand why you're not going to leave her.'_

_---_

_December 2008_

_She came, to the Christmas party, dressed in a red dress made of silk, a dress which hugged her figure in all the right places, and a fibre that came as a second skin on her beautiful body, her hair was much shorter than he remembered it, it looked good on her though and the signature dimples were still there and the fuzzy feeling he got every time he saw those two caves was still presently lingering in his stomach to._

'_You look amazing.' He said as he approached her she smiled modestly and a blushing colour reddened her cheeks._

'_Thanks you don't look so bad yourself.' Brooke complimented he didn't look bad as a matter of fact he looked very handsome, his hair was just the way she liked just long enough to spike it up to the side a little and he hadn't shaved in a day or two so the rough stubble was current which made him look very alluring. He was dressed in a dark blue suit and his eyes appeared to emerge because of the blue colour which looked so good on him to._

'_God I missed you.' Lucas exclaimed and drew her into his arms, she was shocked at first but soon relaxed into his arms and breathed in his scent one she loved so much. They hugged one another and she kept smiling, the hug lasted a bit too long for a 'we're just friends' hug._

'_I missed you too Broody.' _

'_So how's Peyton?' she asked after she took a sip from her bottled water, Lucas shrugged and shook his head._

'_I don't know she's in California once again to promote some band I've never heard of.' He told her solemnly._

'_During Christmas?' Brooke asked rather shocked, and when he nodded she got a confused look on her face one she couldn't wipe away immediately._

'_She says the best period to promote bands are during holiday times.' He told her._

'_Oh okay…' she saw a sudden change in his demander and felt sorry for him she recognized this Lucas once again as the Lucas she had once felt so in love with and once again being here with him, he made her feel like she was sixteen all over again. It was a scary feeling but she also knew that deep down she loved this feeling and she probably always would._

'_Hey Luke want to get out of here?' she asked him something she never thought she'd do their eyes locked and when he nodded his head she could literally feel her heart skip a beat, because who knew what tonight was going to bring, they walked out and his hand immediately took its place on the small of her back, while a content smile made its presence known on both of the former lovers' face._

_They stumbled through her apartment, their breaths were rigid and the cold December air seemed to disappear the minute their lips touched, they were sweating already, their clothes sticking to their bodies as they heated each other up with one another's body warmth._

_He pulled her legs up around his waist and held one arm firmly around her waist while his other hand protected her head and at the same time tried to disregard her from her perfect red dress, he bumped into her wall and she groaned which made him stop kissing her and smile at her immediately with an apologetic look on his face._

'_Oh gosh I'm sorry are you okay?' he asked and when she just laughed and nodded her head he breathed in relieved, soon Brooke started to pull his clothes of his body aggressively which made him smile somewhat seeing as how she was trying to unclasp his belt but had no luck with it._

'_God what is wrong with this stupid shit thing of a belt.' She asked him aggravated, she couldn't wait any longer she had been waiting too long already and she couldn't wait any longer, this was how it was supposed to be, the feeling in the pit of her stomach was back and she loved it to bits and pieces, Peyton crossed her mind but only briefly because Lucas' handsome smile and touch came back to her all at once and all that did was made her forget Peyton even more._

_After some time Lucas was left standing in his boxers, while Brooke was still wearing her red dress, her panties long gone since Lucas had slid them of her beautiful legs, now the silk fabric was lying on the ground next to his heap of clothes and Brooke was sitting on her cabinet naked, the boxers soon joined the group of clothes. _

_He picked her up while bringing his lips to her and kissed her passionately her legs were encircled around his waist and just as she rested into his arms she felt him push inside of her, she drew in a sharp breath and immediately said his name while moaning, they made it to her bed and he laid her down as he lay on top of her, both moving in sync and caressing one another's body like they hadn't done in ages not to each other nor to anyone else. _

_They moved in sync rhythmically like they always had, their bodies became one just as their souls, they were made for each other, their love making had always been filled with passion love and so much chemistry. Nothing in the world would change that not even, a girlfriend who was trying to call her boyfriend but was met with his voicemail._

January 2012 (Present day)

'Brooke open the door please?' he asked one last time and that's when he heard the shuffling of her feet inside the house, she never cared to pick her feet up when she was in her sleeping gear, when she was comfortable.

'Would you keep it down please!' she said and drew him inside, she shook her head, and looked at him with much venom but he looked past her facade, he just wanted to know what this was really about.

'Brooke…' he started but was immediately cut of by Brooke.

'Don't you dare Brooke me…everyone's going to find out sooner or later and what are we supposed to tell them, what are we supposed to tell her when she finds out about all of this?' Brooke asked him and he was about to answer, but once again she stopped him with her hand in the air a signal for him to not even say anything.

'Luke please just don't okay…' she said and started to walk towards the bedroom, yet he soon followed her and soon both were standing in the bedroom.

'Daddy!'

'Hey buddy!' Lucas said and walked past Brooke to look at his son, he had grown somewhat but was still pretty tiny, for a four year old once the little boy could reach his father he jumped up in his arms and hugged him very tightly. Lucas smiled blissfully as did Brooke as she saw their son happy.

'Why are you still up?' he asked his son who in turn just shrugged.

'I couwn't sleep…' he said while yawning and immediately got a chuckle out of both Lucas and Brooke.

'Are youw stayin?' the four year old asked his father hopefully, and Lucas looked around to ask Brooke for an answer.

'Yes honey daddy's staying just for tonight though.' Brooke said while adding the last part determinately.

'Gweat…I luv you daddy…and mommy.' He said while sleeping again in his father's broad and strong arms, Lucas nodded his head and gave him a kiss on his head, he put him back into bed and tucked him in nicely.

'Mommy and daddy love you to Ayden.' Lucas told him and Brooke nodded she walked over to her son and kissed him to, while flicking of the light, Lucas stayed behind her and rubbed her back, she watched him over her shoulder and started to walk out of the room.

'Brooke…' Lucas said, but she was already walking to her own bedroom, she was about to close the door, but just as she was about to she pushed it open again inviting Lucas in, he walked in she was already lying in her bed, and the place next to her was soon occupied by Lucas.

'It's going to be okay Brooke…' he tried but knew deep down nothing was going to be okay, no one knew anything not his mother, not Haley, not his brother, not her parents…and certainly not Peyton but there was going to be a day when everything was going to come out, and both Lucas and Brooke feared that day would come much sooner than later.

'It's not…it can't…what are we going to do?' she asked him as she turned to her side and looked into his eyes, he shook his head showing her he didn't have an answer to that question.

'I don't know…' he said and embraced her, she held herself back for some moments but soon let everything be, and the two pondered what the next days would bring, Lucas knowing he was going to have to deal with Peyton and her questions, Brooke knowing she had to say goodbye to him once again and live a life she despised away from her friends and family, although she knew she had chosen to live this life.

**Review please! xxx Noor!**


	7. Misery Business

**Oh my gosh you guys I'm so sorry for not posting for weeks, but I'm here finally with a post and I'm hoping you're going to like it! I really hope you do, now with no further ado, here's the chapter! **

**Love Noor!**

**Chapter 7: Misery business**

January 13th (Present day)

'Mom…where's daddy?' Ayden asked his mother as she put his pancakes in front of him, with a sad look on her face Brooke sighed, this question was always asked the minute Lucas was gone and he noticed it.

'He's gone home honey…' Brooke told him and kissed her son, who was an exact replica of his father, on the forehead. The only things Ayden had in common with his mother, was his brownish hair and her dimples the remainder was all Lucas, his quiet character, his love for books, his intriguing blue eyes and even his huge passion for basketball.

'To Peyton?' he asked her and when Brooke nodded he got his answer while continuing to eat.

Ayden was not so much a mistake, he was just not planned at all, nobody knew of him, not Peyton, Karen, Haley, Nathan, Mouth and Rachel they didn't know he existed because they didn't if Brooke still did.

'Hey buddy your birthday is coming up have you thought about what you want?' Brooke asked him and Ayden turned his head away from the TV screen to lock his eyes with his mother's.

'Yeah I did…but I don't know…' he told his mother, she chuckled lightly, and shook her head it was the his first year to choose what he wanted to have for his birthday the previous years Lucas and Brooke just chose for him, this year though he told them he wanted to choose himself and they both agreed to it.

'Well bud if you want to choose your own birthday gifts you need to have options why don't you try to make a list.' Brooke told him and he seemed to ponder the idea, he put his glass of milk back down on the table and held his chin between his hands while having a serious look on his face, he saw his father do it numerous times and so he did it too.

'Wow you're already starting to brood…you really are your father.' Brooke said while ruffling her sons hair and kissing his head as she walked towards the bathroom.

Ayden was quick to follow her with a confused look on his face, he ran after her to try and keep up and when Brooke looked at him waiting for his question he squinted his eyes.

'What is brood?' he asked her and she laughed she bent down through her knees to pick him up and place him on top of the washing machine while she loaded it with all of their laundry.

'You always say it to daddy too, Broody…you call him righhhttt?' he asked and Brooke had to chuckle once again, her son really was her best friend and her buddy, he made her laugh and chuckle continuously his innocence was adorable and his sweetness made her want to eat him.

'Yeah I do…' Brooke said with a small smile on her face, she watched her son and had to do everything in her power not to break down, he needed Lucas in his life and not just whenever Lucas could get away from Peyton he needed him 24/7 and as much as Brooke hated to admit it, she needed her Broody boy too, but now it was too late and it was all because of her.

_February 2008 __(4 years ago)_

'_Oh my God I'm pregnant…' Brooke cried as they sat beside each other, both shocked and scared, Lucas stared into nothing, they went to the doctor just hours ago and all Brooke kept saying was either. 'Oh my God I'm pregnant…' or…_

'_What did I do…oh God what did I do…' _

'_Brooke…please it's going to be okay…' Lucas tried to reason with her, he knew it would be okay, he would leave Peyton and ask Brooke to marry him, they'd both move to Tree Hill to grow old together and raise their child together, and hopefully have their friends and family there to support them._

'_How can you say that!' Brooke yelled, she got up and looked at him, their eyes locked and the tears started to fall from Brooke's eyes once again, this was a disaster, she was pregnant with her ex-boyfriend's child, and he was together with her ex-best friend. _

'_This is not going to be okay Luke, what are you that stupid to think this is going to be okay, you're with Peyton and I'm all alone, but I can't abort this child Luke, and I can't do it on my own either.' She told him her hazel eyes becoming bigger with every word she screamed out._

'_I'll leave Peyton…and we can live together…we can do this Brooke.' He told her and as he did he got up and held her head in his strong hands making her look at him, she shook her head while he said all those things she wanted to hear she just knew she couldn't let herself hear them._

'_No you won't…Lucas you have to promise me…you won't.' she told him and he looked confused something she knew he would be, he shook his head at her, she couldn't be serious, she couldn't be…she just couldn't._

'_Brooke…I…' _

'_Promise me Luke, or I'll never be able to forgive you.' _

'_For wanting to be with YOU Brooke?!' he asked her incredulously._

'_NO, for making us hurt her!' she cried her body started shaking and her sobs were heart wrecking, he didn't find it in his heart to just look at her, while the petite brunette slid down the wall and said on the floor Lucas sat in front of her and her in his arms._

'_Please…Luke, you have to promise me please please do this for me, if you love me you'll do this for me.' _

'_I…I promise Brooke.'_

January 13th (Present day)

'Lucas I just don't get why you don't even bother to call when you leave, we're getting married in a week, I'm going to be your wife Luke I deserve to know when you're just going to leave the last couple of years you've just been walking out on me…' Peyton accused Lucas as they both stood on opposite ends of the kitchen; once Lucas had closed the door behind him three hours ago all hell had broken out.

'Peyton I apologized already extremely sincerely, what more do you want!' he yelled and the next thing Peyton heard was the loud thud and the walls shake while Lucas shut the door behind him, and walked away from the person, the only person really who was driving him more than crazy.

---

'Hey Nate.' Lucas said as he saw his little brother on the river court, Nathan looked up from the spot he'd been staring at for unknown reasons to Lucas, he smiled briefly at him and walked towards his bigger brother who he'd been meaning to ask a few questions that had been laying heavy on his heart.

'Hey bro…what's up?' he asked him while Lucas just nodded something he had been doing a lot the last couple of years, or he'd just say that everything was fine and then start another subject and Nathan had been meaning to talk to him but every time he tried to Lucas either simply ignored him or acted as if he hadn't heard him.

'So the big day huh?' Nathan once again tried and once again Lucas just smiled a simple acknowledgement he had perfected lately. Nobody knew something was going on with him, they might suspect something but they never really knew what was going if they did he would have heard it by now.

'Come on man help me out here!' Nathan started his frustration finally getting the better of him, Lucas looked up surprised by Nathan's plea and sudden outburst, he saw it, he finally saw it the conquered look in his younger brother's eyes, how could he have not seen it before.

'Nate I need to tell you something…' Lucas started and Nathan just nodded his head finally feeling he was getting somewhere with his brother. 'I…I have been walking around with a secret for years and I don't know what to do now especially now that the wedding is coming closer.'

'Okay…I just don't really know what you mean what do you mean?' he asked him and once again saw the fear in his eyes, the fear that made him so much younger, the fear he had seen two times before the time that Keith died, and the time Brooke was about to break up with him…so it only meant two things it either had something to do with Keith or Brooke and of the two of them he was sure he was going to hear about the latter.

'Okay five years ago, I went to a Christmas party in New York because and Peyton didn't come with me because we were having troubles and we were on a break.' He looked around him and had to remind himself to breath, the wind was doing most of it for him, but he still had to remind himself to stay put and to not run in the opposite direction and wish this conversation never happened, but while he looked at his brother's anticipating face he knew he had to deal with at least someone. Brooke would kill him but that was a battle he had to deal with later.

'Yeah I remember that time.'

'Well while I was there I saw Brooke and things…I felt…I felt alive again, like I could do anything in the world, like I could be a writer and a professional basketball player, I felt on top of the world again, and I had missed that feeling. But most of all I could kill myself for making me miss out on that.'

'Luke what happened?' Nathan asked his brother through clenched teeth, he already knew what happened of course he had to see Brooke the minute he and Peyton were on a break what kind of sick game was faith playing with those three.

'We…we…' Lucas started and Nathan closed his eyes, he knew it, it was always going to be this way those three loved each other too much to live without one another, but they could hate each other more than anyone could. 'Do you want me to spell it out for you…we made love.' Lucas said, and Nathan blinked twice when he heard him say that they made love, he didn't say sex he always referred intercourse to having sex, but just now he said they made love.

'Of course you did you…fucking idiot! How could you be so stupid Luke? You're not seventeen anymore Scott, you're damn it you're twenty-four and you still can't get it together! What the hell is wrong with you?' Nathan cursed and yelled at his big brother who shook his head at himself this was not even the part he was supposed to start yelling, he still had one big surprise for him and it wasn't going to be pretty when he told him.

'She was pregnant.' He started and started to dig into his back pocket; Nathan's eyes had sprung open ones again and were digging wholes into Lucas' head. Lucas held out a piece of paper for Nathan which he accepted eagerly and ones his eyes feel upon the picture of Ayden and Brooke he let out a pungent snort.

'You have got to be kidding me.' He turned the picture around and there was something written on it, the handwriting clearly belonged to one of a toddler. _'Now you can see us everyday. Mommy and Ayden.'_

'His name is Ayden Lucas Scott he's four and he's ours.' Lucas said he was embarrassed but proud too; he looked down because he couldn't meet his brother's eyes, yet while he spoke a distinctive smile illuminated his face Nathan could see it very clearly and knew where it was coming from because he had an exact replica on his own face. Just seeing his little nephew made him as proud as an uncle could be.

'I'm sorry Nate…' Lucas started but was caught off by the blow that collided with his face. He fell to the ground and held his cheek while looking at his brother stunned.

'Nate…'

'No you lied to us for years you lied to us, to me…I asked you numerous times if there was something on your chest and you just…lied point blank. I have a nephew I've never known, you have a son, you have a family…and I…I…you're getting married to a wonderful girl, yet you're in love with another wonderful girl who also happens to be the mother of your child you have a son…damn it Lucas you have a son…I…I can't even look at you right now.' Nathan started to walk away as he finally noticed the tears that were cascading down his cheeks.

'Nathan…Nathan!' Lucas yelled. 'You don't understand, I…'

'No Luke I think I do, I do understand, you're a coward you're just like dad you'll always take the easy way out.'

'Oh you think this has been easy for either of us, there is no easy way out, I don't have an easy way out, because if I choose Brooke and Ayden I'll crush my fiancé, but if I choose Peyton…I can't even begin to explain how that would hurt Brooke and Ayden I can not hurt my son like that, nor can I do that to Brooke.' He told the raven dark haired man in front of him defeated.

'Then tell Peyton!'

'I can't I promised Brooke, I gave her my word and I can not take that back.' Lucas told Nathan and with that Nathan nodded and walked away still too shocked to let everything draw in, he would have his final realisation he knew he would.

---

The knocking on her door was making her heart race, she had just put Ayden to bed when she heard the knocking on her apartment door, and she was scared of what she was going to be met with once she opened the door.

'I'm coming I'm coming…' she yelled at whoever was there. She opened the door and was met by the tall outline; she inhaled deeply and shook her head.

'He told you.' and with that she stepped aside to let her high school friend in, Nathan Scott hadn't changed much other then of course the slight aging in his face and the light stubble on his cheeks.

'I want to know everything because right now, I can't focus…I can't believe that this is what my brother, my best friend has become, a lying scum bag who has a freaking family.' Nathan told her once again the tears were apparent in his eyes and as Brooke let him to the living room she looked behind her to see Lucas come out Ayden's bedroom with only his boxers on, she motioned for him to go and he did and rubbed the tears out of his eyes.

There was no going back now, and the three adults all knew it.

**Please review!**


	8. Reaching out for the highs

**Hi everyone here I am once again with an update! YAY! God this chapter took me forever to write because I didn't really know how I wanted it to turn out, I didn't know if I wanted this huge fight or a lot of forgiveness, I was just stuck but then yesterday I got the urge to write it all and I'm pretty happy I did.**

**I'm so happy so many of you are glad with the way things worked out with Nathan knowing and all, if you have suggestions just know I'm up for it. Thanks you all so much for your reviews I swear to God that they mean the world to me, it's really wonderful to see you're being a good writer and people actually enjoy reading what you do or can connect with the way you write down your storylines. It means a lot. So thanks again!**

**Gia, thanks for the compliment, and I know right they are complete idiots for keeping Ayden a secret they should put him on a pedestal and show him to the entire world because in my head he's so beautiful and fun and ugh oh so sweet. **

**PS: How do you guys like season 5 so far don't you feel Brooke is being pushed aside too, I mean with the whole Peyton Lucas' ex is back in town while Brooke is back too and she too is Lucas' ex but with her it seems like everyone has gotten amnesia on that part. Very frustrating, I do have to say that I like Lindsay better than Peyton…but I love Peyton as Peyton without Lucas more than Lindsay…God it's so confusing. **

**I think I'll stop rambling and just let you read this chapter! Enjoy and please leave me a review!**

**Love Noor!**

**Chapter 8: Reaching out for the highs, but failing to grasp them**

They sat in silent both staring at one another and neither was in that state of mind that they could find the words to say something, on her part she wanted to elucidate, and he had so many questions he needed to be answered thus far he was so befuddled and astonished that he found words were not enough and even they were he had no sense in him to form a sensible sentence one a human being would understand at this point.

She became fidgety and everything around her seemed to turn four years had they managed to keep their son a secret until Lucas had to be the smart one to tell his younger brother, God she could hurt him really bad right now, if Haley ever found out she'd be so disappointed in them not to mention she'd kill them or in worst case scenario never talk to them again.

'Can I meet him?' was the only thing Nathan asked his eyes still fixed upon the red carpet in front of him, Brooke bent forward making him look into her eyes, she smiled amiably at the man she used to know so well, and nodded at him with a proud look in her eyes.

'Sure…Luke is here though.' Brooke told him and once again Nathan just merely nodded both adults got up and started to make their way towards little Ayden's bedroom, Ayden being the boy he was heard this and speedily ran back to his bed and pretended to sleep for he had been awake and tried to figure out who the strange man was; a man who looked so much like his father.

Lucas came out of the kitchen and looked at his brother with the most culpable look he could muster, while his brother turned his head and kept walking towards his nephew's bedroom he was so anxious to meet him, here he was just about to meet his nephew while his hands were clammy and his thoughts were running wild feeling like any minute he could faint.

'Ay…I know you're awake sweetie.' Brooke said smiling while she did, she had seen him shift and knew the little man was not sleeping he'd always get nervous to meet knew people and once again this was the case just while he did he seemed to be introvert.

'Come on baby there's someone I want you to meet; it's four years too late but better late than never.' She said the latter part meant for only Nathan's ears he smiled a little at her but said nothing for he was still too frenzied with his own thoughts and tried to bring his apprehension to a usual intensity.

Ayden pushed his blanket away and smiled at his mother she winked back and as she held him up for Nathan to see all thoughts seemed to subside and the apprehension was replaced with utter astonishment. Ayden Lucas Scott was with his son the most beautiful boy he had ever met, being an exact replica of his father and having some features of his mother, he was in one word astounded.

'Who is he mommy?' Ayden whispered in his mother's ear but loud enough for Nathan to hear, he looked at the tall raven haired man in front of him through his bangs clinging to his mother for dear life, succeeding in getting a chuckle out of both adults and making Lucas smile as he leaned against the doorframe of his son's room.

'This is Nathan, and Nathan is your uncle…' Brooke told her son while looking at him; he seemed to ponder the thought for a minute opening his mouth to say something but closing it quickly.

'Does that mean he's daddy's brother?' Ayden asked his mother looking as seriously as his father always used to look, Brooke nodded smiling proudly her son was a genius.

'You really are Lucas's son, you smarty-pants.' Nathan finally took part of the conversation he laughed and stepped forward ruffling his nephew's hair hoping he would not over step it, but when Ayden laughed hard he knew he hadn't, the next thing he knew he was holding Ayden in his arms since he jumped in them.

'Can you too play basketball…like daddy?' Ayden asked his new uncle, who nodded his head and smiled at the little boy.

Lucas's eyes locked with Brooke and she smiled at him, he came into the room and once Ayden saw his dad he jumped up in Nathan's arms reaching out for his father, Lucas held his arms out and Ayden was soon back in his, the two brother's looked at one another but didn't say a word.

'Hey buddy I think you really need to sleep now.' Lucas said kissing him on his head and breathing in his scent he loved his scent it was a mixture of his shampoo and of his own skin and he loved it.

'Will you be here when I wake up?' Ayden asked quietly looking down at his hands. Nathan started to walk out of the room it was beginning to suffocate him and Brooke soon followed giving both Lucas and Ayden a kiss and saying goodnight. Lucas held Ayden as close as he could and smiled sweetly, he put him down on his bed and sighed.

'Buddy listen to me, I know that I haven't been the best dad but I'm trying and I love you I need you to know that okay, and yes I'll be here tomorrow morning when you wake up.' He kissed his head one more time before clicking of the light and walking towards the door.

---

'You're good mother Brooke…and I'm sure Lucas is a great dad I just can't seem to understand why you didn't tell us, I mean I thought we were friends.' Nathan had calmed down somewhat and he knew that he was not going to get answers unless he questioned them and he knew he had to be collected while asking her these questions.

'We are Nate but it's not that easy, you know how many times I wanted to call you and tell everything how many times I was this close to get in the car and confess everything to you and Haley.' Brooke said holding her fingers a mere inch from one another, and smiled sorrowfully at Nathan.

'And don't let me get started on how many times I threatened Lucas if he ever told you, it's been hard on him, he's been wanting to tell you ever since we found out, he was so happy and I could not for the life of me understand why he was so unbelievably cheery, he had just ruined his life and the relationship he had with Peyton all due to one stupid mistake and one stupid night.' She confessed tears pooling in her eyes she wiped them away agitatedly.

'Brooke…' Nathan began but was stopped by Lucas who walked in the room, his head bowed and as he sat next to Brooke and noticed her tears his eyes immediately locked with his brother who immediately shrugged.

'Hey pretty girl what's wrong?' he asked her sweetly his brother's presence soon forgotten as the two infamous lovers stared into each other's eyes she shook her head and smiled letting a small laugh escape her quivering mouth.

'Nothing I'm just being silly, there's nothing going on…I promise Luke.' She watched him and nodded at him he reluctantly stopped questioning her and she took this opportunity gratefully, kissing his cheek to thank him for dropping the subject and as she did he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

The interaction between the two notorious lovers didn't go unnoticed by the other Scott in the room who had to do everything in his power not to yell at them and ask them why they kept doing this to themselves and little Ayden when it was so obvious they were head over heels in love with each other, Nathan had always believed Peyton had been the one for Lucas they just seemed to fit.

Yet just as Haley once told him, 'The couples that last lifetimes for us to reminisce about don't usually fit, they don't make all the sense in the world Nate, they're being brought together by a force that's beyond us, and we try to forget it and try to deny it, but in the end we all know that Brooke and Lucas are that kind of couple, they are each other's soul mates. Lucas is Brooke's calm before the storm and against all odds one day one way or another, they're going to collide.' She had said and her point had been proven just now, however he didn't think she'd be too pleased to know that the two stubborn yet loving people in front of him had hidden their illegitimate love child from everyone including them and Karen, God Nathan could not even think about Karen right now, or Dan then all hell would break loose.

'I just don't understand why you thought you couldn't tell me Luke don't you trust me?' Nathan asked finally acknowledging his brother's attendance but by his question he was only making the brooding blonde feel even worse than he already had been feeling nevertheless he knew that he deserved whatever he had coming his way however it turned out that the belligerent Nathan was gone, making Luke realize that his little brother really had grown up.

'Of course I trust you Nate, it was killing me not to be able to talk to you about something that means so much to me, but you've got to understand the circumstances Brooke and I are in, we didn't know what to do, and after we decided to keep the baby we just made a decision one that in retrospect may not have been the smartest one on our part, but we did make it and then after a year it was too late to tell you guys. Once another year went by it became our life, it was like a routine I'd be here and I'd be Daddy, and when I'd be in Tree Hill I'd be a struggling writer who was coaching the Tree Hill Ravens, still a young boy trying to figure out how this life really worked.' Lucas was too caught up in his own confession that he failed to notice the intriguing looks he got from both his brother and the beautiful brunette sitting right next to him, he never told her this and for him to be telling this now was an entire new revelation for Brooke.

'Nate I am so truly sorry for keeping this from you I can't even believe how much you're hurting right now, and I know sorry isn't the world's greatest impeccable word but that's all I am, truly sorry, nonetheless I'm not sorry for having a beautiful son who I love very much and I'm certainly not sorry that Brooke is the mother of my first child and I will never be. Not given the circumstances she made me the happiest man in the world once she told me she was pregnant and I know the timing wasn't perfect but that doesn't make me want to change one thing in the world.' Lucas said with much confidence occasionally giving a one sided glance at Brooke and throwing her his signature smile.

'Wow…' Nate said startled he thought his brother hadn't changed at all staying in the forever going love triangle between the two brooding blondes and the feverishly cheery brunette, yet he had grown up so much, he had finally become an adult he was making up for his mistakes but he also wasn't ashamed for making them.

The room became eerily quiet with only the breathing of the three adults filling the silence, Nathan got up and paced the room he brought up his right hand and scratched the back of his head, something Brooke immediately picked up seeing as Lucas and now even Ayden did that too, when they were either nervous or confused.

'I just I'm trying here okay, I'm trying to understand how you could have lied to us all those years without any of us ever noticing, and how we couldn't have known something as big as this…how could we have not seen this coming, how did you do this, you have an entirely different life Luke, you know how sick that is.' He was panicking again, every single time he'd have an answer to one of his questions another question would pop into his mind making him going into a fit of anxiousness, mystification and rage.

'Nate calm down, we can barely grasp it ourselves, it just happened and then it sort of became a habitual life style for us we didn't question it and most of the time we didn't even talk about it, Lucas would be here and we'd be a family and then he'd go home to Tree Hill to be with his other family.' Brooke tried to explain as clearly as she could, she knew this must have been the most peculiar things for anyone to hear and somehow she was living it without feeling to odd about it.

'But how…how did you live with yourself knowing you were lying to us every single day, lying to your mom, or to dad, to Peyton your fiancé or to me and I don't even understand how you could have lied to Haley your best friend since you were four.' Nathan ranted once again accusing his brother of all the things he had done to wrong them while Lucas merely nodded as his brother talked he knew he had been wrong but he couldn't do much about that now.

'I can't explain that now…I did it to protect Brooke and Ayden…and I guess myself and I know that's selfish but I can't change the past.' Lucas said and just as he did he saw Nathan nod his head while he got up and shook his head at the two adults looking at him unnervingly he opened the door to Brooke's apartment yet he turned around one last time to look at his brother.

'I can't deal with this right now, but uhm my lips are buttoned if that is going to make you sleep any better at night.' And with that he was gone leaving the blonde and brunette to stare at the retreating figure which had been Nathan's.

They sat in silence for awhile, the clock ticking by the minutes going slower than ever yet it still wasn't enough for either of them to talk for both of them were too fearful that if they did start talking the realisation of what had happened to night would finally start to kick in, however Brooke Penelope Davis being Brooke Penelope Davis couldn't take the silence anymore and started to fill it with her incessant talking.

'Oh God Luke what are we going to do, he can't not tell Hales, and when he does tell her Karen will soon know which will be the ultimate apocalypse of us all, actually I should be giving you your own little apocalypse you stupid foolish boy.' She started, he had told Nathan, and she had been too shocked to even really think about what was going to happen if everyone was to find out but now you can bet that she was thinking about it, and it really did no good to either of them.

'Brooke calm down…please.' second mistake of that day broody boy, he really shouldn't have said that because the look Brooke gave him was one he hadn't seen in years one he wished he'd never see again.

'Calm down really, I have a four year old son who I've been keeping from all of my friends and needless to say with success, just because I wanted you to be happy, yet somehow the one thing I ask you to do you can't you told Nathan about our secret a secret I had so much trouble with keeping but I did anyway, you know how many times I dialled Haley's number and was about to tell her about Ayden, or the times I wanted to confess to Peyton, even so I never did, not once but you of course did. They are going to find out about him you know it and I know it, so really you really want to tell me to calm down right now?' she yelled at him and was about to storm of to her bedroom when he stopped her with his hand firmly attached on her arm and turned her around so she was facing him.

'Jesus Brooke, give me a damn break for once…I'm sorry I told Nathan but I couldn't keep this secret to myself any longer, besides he won't tell anyone.' Lucas tried to reason with the livid brunette standing in front of him.

'Luke let me go!'

'No…we need to figure out what we're going to tell everyone.'

'We are not going to figure out anything, Nathan will not say anything so neither will we, we'll sleep on this and tomorrow everything is going to be normal, you'll be Lucas Scott the man's who's going to marry his _true love_ and I'll be Brooke Davis the girl who got knocked up by _hers_…you can crash on the couch.' She said with a tremble in her voice the tears started to roll down her face but she wasn't going to let him comfort her, and so she ran into her bedroom as fast as her legs would carry her and closed the door with a loud thud.

Lucas laid down on the couch the street light illuminating the room obscurely, he couldn't sleep not after the day he had had, he kept replaying it through his head over and over again, and thus far he didn't seem to come to any other conclusion other than that it really had happened. While he looked back at it he really should have handled things differently, maybe he should have never told Nathan, or maybe he should have just never lied to anyone about their son. This life he led seemed so surreal it made him question if he was really living it, he never wanted to be the man he was today, a man who had two families, a man who was lying not only to his fiancé, bestfriend and mother but also to himself.

His thoughts were interrupted by one of the bedroom doors that opened and he could clearly hear the footsteps make light dull sounds on the wooden floor. Two pair of beautiful eyes locked with his and Lucas smiled sweetly.

'Daddy I can't sleep…' Ayden said his beautiful blue orbs becoming big as he said that, he pleaded with his father without even having to plead. 'Can I sleep with you?'

'Sure you can buddy.' He told his son who had spiked hair due to the pillow he'd probable been turning his head restlessly on, he pulled his blanket up and held out his hand for Ayden to take which he did gratefully whilst he tried to get his legs onto the couch, something which was an ridiculously hard task.

The two boys laid back down, Lucas on his side with his back against the couch and Ayden laying in front of him on his back staring at his father with big eyes. Lucas leaned into kiss his son on his head breathing in his toddler scent and smelling a whiff of Brooke as he did so.

'Let's sleep Aydy bud.' Lucas told his son and heard the young boy sigh which made him smile to himself.

'Okay daddy…' he started but was interrupted by his own yawn, it was way passed his bed time and the feeling that it was finally started to kick in. 'Daddy…' little Ayden questioned yet without waiting for answer on Lucas's part he continued.

'Why does mommy always cry to herself when she's in bed…she's always so sad when you're not here?' he said and Lucas's heart broke and once again he wanted to slap himself for every stupid mistake he had made but that was easy when looking at it in retrospect.

'You love mommy right?' the little boy snuggled up in Lucas' arms continued to ask which unbeknownst to Ayden made Lucas' eyes a little watery he closed them quickly and nodded.

'Of course I do son, I love her more than she'll ever know.' He answered truthfully and confidently, Ayden smiled and snuggled up deeper into his father, his small hand reached out for his father's slightly unshaven face and he patted it lightly before leaning up to give him a quick kiss on his mouth.

'Daddy… I think you're wrong; _you're the best daddy in the entireee worrrrrllld_! I love you daddy goodnight.' He said the serious voice was now long gone and Ayden was fast asleep within seconds, Lucas smiled light heartedly and held his son close while he put his chin on top of his head and pulled the blankets tied around them.

'I love you too Ayden Lucas Scott.'

**The purple little button is smiling at you, click on it and make my day! Gehehe leave a review! **


	9. For the windows in paradise

**Hey you guys, I know I should be lying in a ditch somewhere for my lack of updates, seriously I know. I wanted to have all kinds of personal responses to your wonderful reviews, but I just thought you'd rather read the long awaited chapter. A quick personal thank to **Toddian**, buddy I feel your hatred no actually I share it gehehe and trust me I think you're going to like this chapter also **Missdenmark**, I don't mind you rambling, I agree with you on a lot in what you said, and also **lonesomedreamer**, thank you so much for liking my 'quote' I hoped it wouldn't go by unnoticed because it seriously took me days to figure out so thank you a lot for noticing. A quick thanks to** Loub **who has reviewed every chapter, thanks for that.**

**Everyone else thank you so frigging much, please review! **

**AN: I have a one-shot called Lover I don't have to love, it's set during 5x05 and it involves Brucas in his hotel room, need I say more?! Check it out please!**

**Love Noor, enjoy this chapter.**

Chapter 9: For the windows in paradise

Her hair was thrown back in an archetypal bun she looked classically beautiful with her full length gown on however she didn't look blissfully happy, she hadn't looked happy for a long time, and now everyone noticed. As she stared at her friends they saw it, they knew something was going on, but did they dare to ask what it was? They could start something that wasn't even there; they would pry open old wounds.

'Hey girly.' Haley said as she sat down next to her friend, she beamed at her and held her hand in hers, squeezing it lightly before taking a deep breath.

'What's wrong Peyt…' she asked the brooding blonde who's eyes were locked on her fiancé's stunning silhouette, she shook her head confused and let out a sad chuckle feverishly wiping at her eyes, for the unshed tears were burning.

'I miss her, this is not right without her Haley, but it isn't right with her…' she said the quiver in her voice was instantly recognizable. She once again shook her head at herself and looked down to her lap; everyone was here except her, her best friend Brooke Davis. She was the missing key, yet there was her father, Lucas, Nathan, Haley, J-Luke, Karen, Lilly even Deb was there and Bevin and Skills, Mouth and his girlfriend…wait for it wait for it, Rachel. She was there because Mouth forced her too, but still they were all there. Even so here she was wishing for someone who wouldn't show up no matter what she did.

'I know Peyt…I miss her too, I don't even know where she is or how she's doing, and I mean you're getting married it's wrong for her not to be her.' Haley added understandingly Brooke had been her best friend and just like that she was gone, one day she'd come over and the next all her stuff were gone and there was no evidence of Brooke Davis ever living in Tree Hill lingering, only the memories of the notorious brunette were deeply engraved in the minds of her friends and family.

There had been some phone calls however they had not been frequent enough and had been very rare therefore they were not adequate to keep an unwavering friendship standing. Some times she tried to forget it, she never thought she'd be one of those people to let someone who meant so much to her just disappear out of your life, but then again she'd be brought back to reality and she'd realize that she had done exactly that.

Putting the blame on Brooke had been the easiest thing to do for both Haley and Peyton, they had had their own sufficient amount of exchanged banters about how Brooke had done them both wrong for just getting up and leaving some day without so much as a note or a goodbye, they didn't even know if she was alive or not. Yet then at the end of every single conversation they'd amply shake their heads and smile forlornly and some times superfluous tears were shed.

'We were five years old, when we decided how our wedding was going to look like, it just seems wrong not having her here even if it is the day before the actual wedding I need her Hales…I'm lost without her…' Haley nodded at what she said and turned her head slightly to look at her friend both had tears in their eyes and smiled at one another.

'Mommy…are you crying?' came little Jamie's voice, he climbed on his mother's lap and wiped away her tears with his hands. She kissed his head affectionately and shook her head at him as if she was ridiculous.

'I stole these tears from a crocodile because I'm sure they're not mine.' She said with a quivering voice one that was soon followed by a sob, a heart wrenching painful sob, one that made her breathe in heavily to steady herself.

'Miss Sawyer…' came a voice, Peyton looked up to see the hired waitress smile at her with a big box in her hands, she handed it to Peyton and added.

'This was sent to you, there was a letter attached to it.' and with that she left, Peyton looked down at the letter and immediately recognized the handwriting, her heart started beating a mile a minute and her hands became clammy.

'Brooke…'

---

Her hair was hanging swiftly along her back; the archetypal curls making her look even more classically she was wearing a pink waitress gear, how typical huh? Teenage mother works at local diner doing late night shifts to come around while her son is with the sitter who is also typically enough the neighbour next door.

It was that typical though, she had come used to it by now, something she'd never thought she would, come on working at a diner, first the gear was pink and not that nice soft pink no it had to be the Pink pink…as in like the Pink panther, secondly she was Brooke Davis the girl living behind the red door and now she had to settle for a job that was mediocre, and one thing Brooke always told herself was that she'd never settle for mediocrity.

But she had to, who was she kidding, besides High school she had no other form of education, her parents had disowned her once again classic move, and she had a kid she needed this job so for her, it wasn't mediocre it was pretty darn good. She had learned a lot and the only real important thing had been Ayden, not in a million years would she herself think she would ever think that, but she did and she would not change one thing in the world to not have to think that.

'Brookie…how's the little man doing.' Kate asked her, she too was working at the diner but she just wanted to make some extra money while she was going to college because she hated to be dependable especially when it came to her own parents.

'He's fine, he is learning to play basketball and all my china is now ready to go with the garbage man on Monday…' Brooke said light heartedly, it was weird really Kate was a few months older than Brooke was yet she seemed to be so much more of an adult than Kate was but then again she was, she was a mother for crying out loud.

Kate merely laughed and thought about little Ayden, she gave Brooke a loving squeeze and walked away to help the new customers putting on her smile and grabbing her note pad and pen to write the order down.

Brooke watched the new customers come in and exhale noisily, there they were, her future, her 'what might have been' and they looked absolutely faultless. The brunette girl smiled up at her blonde boyfriend, she leaned into his chest as they sat in a booth together his arm strongly locked around her small body she smiled supremely cheerful and looked up at him. He leaned in to kiss her on the tip of her nose and contently looked at the menu.

She couldn't take this, she couldn't watch them and wonder what would have happened if she and Lucas never broke up with one another. The tears were inevitable and she knew that there was no turning back now, her breath came out in demoralizing sobs, and as she held on to the wall she felt her legs crumble from underneath her shaking and shivering body. She slid down the white wall and cried as much as she had ever had.

Apprehension dawned on her, she was all alone, Lucas would marry Peyton like she always thought they would and they would have perfect blonde kids with curly hair and impeccable oceanic-blue eyes, one girl would be named after her because that was Peyton for you, and they would all live happily ever after with Lucas occasionally sending her and Ayden a cheque with a few zeros written on it.

She knew she shouldn't think like this of Lucas, because besides the fact that he had kept lying to Peyton ever since she made him promise her to, and besides the fact that he had cheated on her when they were younger he was trying so hard, trying to make the best of a very unfortunate situation they got themselves caught in. And he loved Ayden more than anything in the world, what more could she possibly want from him.

She knew, she knew what she wanted from him for she had been dreaming of it for the last couple of years, and still it hadn't happened. She wanted to be in Peyton's situation she wanted to marry him and live happily ever after with their children running around their backyard and them smiling at their childishness, she wanted to be wrapped in his arms while he told her over and over again how much he loved her, or hear him talking about their ceaseless love and quoting a dead poet or writer while doing so. She wanted to be Mrs. Lucas Scott, and she had every right to be.

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by her boss who called out to her, Brooke quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and got up from the ground finally noticing the couple staring at her, and she smiled briefly at them, too mortified to look at them and walked over to her boss.

'Davis it's your nanny she's one hell of a drama queen…' he told her and passed her the awaiting phone.

Brooke's colour left her face in a breath she was as white as a ghost, holding on to the counter for support, her trembling hands held the phone in them and she quickly inhaled profoundly preparing herself for whatever was to come.

'Hello…'

---

_Dear P.Sawyer, _

_I just want to start of with congratulating you, you're getting married and to no one else than Lucas Eugene Scott, I am happy for you Peyton, I really am…I just wish things could have been differently for you and me and that I could've been there when you'd get married…unfortunately I won't._

_I am sure you're dying with questions and you're very anxious to know the answers, well let me just start of with why I suddenly left, I know I left without a goodbye but being in Tree Hill was just too hard for me P, Tree Hill will always be home to me, but it will also mean the place where I broke up with the love of my life twice, where you and I wished the worst things to happen to one another, it meant absentee parents and a lot of lonely poignant nights and I just had to get away from all of that._

_I'm doing good, I have a steady job(it's not the best pay but I did it all on my own), I have an apartment, and I am happy I miss you guys so much but I am truly happy. _

_I guess you're also wondering why I didn't contact you when I was finally settled, the truth is I tried countless times I tried to call you and Haley but I ended up throwing the phone back on the couch or calling you and then when I did I'd hang up immediately, I know I took the easy way out but I can honestly say I would never change anything I ever did regardless of what I lost in the process…things happen for a reason they say, and Peyton trust me I have my reason._

_Goldilocks (you're still blonde right?) I wish you all of the happiness that you deserve and I hope you're going to have an extravagant wedding, with a beautiful wedding dress, and seeing I'm the best designer ever I helped you out with the latter take a peek and enjoy it! _

_Please tell Haley I love her and that I too miss her, hell I miss all of you! I'll talk to you when the time is right! _

_XOXO, _

_Love Brooke P. Davis._

She looked at the letter in her hand the initial shock was far from gone and she sat back down because her legs began to feel like jelly.

She glanced at him her eyes finally colliding with his the letter was now long gone from her nimble fingers she had so desperately held the letter in, it was lying on the table for the entire world to read, or at least her entire world. She knew upon looking at him he wasn't so much shocked it looked like he was rather relieved and at ease with knowing Brooke had thought of them on the day before their wedding. Haley gasped right next to her, and as she looked at her friend she saw the unshed tears that were begging for her to let them fall.

Passionately Peyton opened the box the letter had been accustomed with, gasping herself when she saw the silk material lying in the big white box herself. Her wedding dress, it was the most beautiful thing she had ever laid her eyes on, it was white, but not the pale white every other girl wears on her wedding day it was more of a broken white, the dress had black laces going around her neck and a black lace that went around her waist. She loved it she absolutely adored the stunning dress looking back at the letter that was reminding her of her best friend she missed so very much.

'Oh god Brooke…' came Karen's voice as she saw Karen stroll towards them with Lilly walking behind her mother, Peyton had always envied Brooke for the bond she had shared with the mother of the love of her life, but within the years that jealousy had been fading yet now it seemed so vividly lying their in the pit of her stomach as she watched Karen's tear filled eyes, and her quivering hand as she let her hands trail down the letter.

Everyone was unvoiced, the five year olds kept quiet and looked at both their mothers, Haley was silently sobbing now as Nathan held her, his own eyes locking with his somewhat older brother, both having the same sentiment in their stomachs, maybe it was remorse maybe it was dread they didn't know for it was hard to distinguish. Karen held Lilly close to her as she tried so hard not to let the tears fall. Never in a million years would she have thought that she would miss Brooke as much as she did, her son's former love interest, yet she did. She missed her bubbly nature and her genuine care for the people she loved. She too missed the girl behind the red door and only now had she come to the full realisation of it.

The ringing of a cell phone cut through the silence while all eyes landed on Lucas as he reached for his pocket. He looked down at the caller ID and took in a deep breath. 'Brooke' it said and if he ignored the call he'd wonder why she called him for the rest of the night, yet if he picked up he would have to deal with the questions for they were inevitable, choosing the latter Lucas gave everyone a small smile before excusing himself.

Nathan instantly knew the gaze his brother gave everyone and soon enough his heart was beating in his throat the hired space felled like it was closing up on him, and he was sure the room had started to spin. Haley looked up at her husband and saw the look of utter fear in his eyes; she wondered why he would have that but simply pushed the thought away.

'Hello...' Lucas said into the phone and immediately his worried mind began to give of alarm signs as he heard Brooke's heart-rending sobs.

'_Luke…she…me…Ayden…bookshelf…not breathing…ambulance…hospital…need you.' _Brooke cried into the phone her sobs making it difficult for Lucas to understand, he shook his head quickly and closed his eyes for a few seconds yet upon opening them nothing was different he could still hear the distinct sound of her cries.

'Okay Brooke…calm down, what happened to Ayden?' Lucas asked and as Brooke repeated the story his fear was confirmed he told her he'd be with her immediately and she told him that he had to be at 'St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital', how ironic was that.

'_Luke I can't lose him…we can't lose him.' _His heart broke for her and himself in that second Brooke never called him; he knew that she never called him if it wasn't serious. He knew because they had had a fight a year ago when Ayden had had a pretty bad flu and upon showing up that weekend when Ayden was back and running through the house he had to hear it from his three year old son. Livid, was what he had been, a screaming match had taken place in Brooke's humble apartment and he left. An hour later he was back and held Ayden for a good thirty minutes until the boy asked his father if he could release him.

Therefore he knew, he should be scared to death because hearing Brooke's voice he knew she was, with his worried set mind he walked back to the rehearsal room and felt the anxiousness in his body rise, how would he explain himself to them. He knew he couldn't not without sounding retarded and awfully suspicious.

Lucas walked up to Peyton and already saw her puzzled look; he shrugged it of and leaned down to whisper in her ear that he needed to go. Normally she would have sighed and told him to go, she had after all gotten accustomed to it over the past years nevertheless today was different today was supposed to be about them and only them.

'No…' she stated simply, he shook his head breathing in an agitated breath, if she only knew how close he was to strangling her right there and then. Everyone around them glanced at the couple expectantly which made Lucas shift unnervingly, Peyton however simply looked up at him and shook her head once again.

'Excuse me?' Lucas asked her still trying to make sure if he had heard her right.

'No, not today, I forbid you to go with whatever rights I have as your fiancé I forbid you to go.' She stated once again, now everyone around her started to feel uncomfortable and Lucas went from uncomfortable to; stirred up in a matter of seconds.

'Peyton I don't need your approval…I have to go…no I _need to go.' _He said and just as he started to walk away the anger disguised her eyes and she was already lunging towards him holding on to his arm and turning him around. A round of gasps was heard, yet Lucas didn't seem faced by her sudden rage.

'All these years I haven't asked you questions, your gone for some days and I don't say a thing, you suddenly up and leave and still I don't say anything…well I'm done biting my tongue Lucas. If you want to go, go just tell me where you're going I deserve that much.'

He looked at her before he kissed her forehead, he didn't meant to hurt her, but she just didn't understand no one understood. Lucas locked his eyes with his younger brother only briefly though. 'Peyton you wouldn't understand, if only you could.' He said and with that he was gone leaving everyone staring at his retreating figure.

No one recognized the boy, Karen seemed petrified because that was not the son she had raised that was not Lucas Scott, that was a darker Lucas Scott, one who was holding something back from his family. One who seemed wretched ever day of time. One who neither his brother, best friend, fiancé nor siblings recognized.

---

Trepidation, the minute he started his car it dawned on him again, and he had to do everything in his power not to lose control over the wheel and end up in the hospital himself. Lucas drove past the limit and got flashed a couple of times but he didn't care, he needed to get to his destination and he needed to get there soon, he thanked the lords that Peyton had insisted on having a place rented in New Jersey it had taken them hours to get there, but regardless of that he was very gratifying.

The screeching of his tires could be heard miles away yet he didn't think about it for the hospital had come into his view and that was the only place he cared about, he parked his car over the sidewalk, if you could call it parking. His key was left in the ignition; he ran through the hospital and stopped at the desk. The woman behind it looked up dazed and smiled compassionately at the man, god she hated it when people looked like this so scared and broken.

'How can I help you sir.' Even though he heart went out to the handsome blonde in front of her she had to be as formal as she could. This still was her job.

'My…son…Ayden Lucas ...Sc… Davis' He hesitated for he did not know with what name Brooke had registered him the nurse frantically typed away on the computer and looked confused for a second she looked up and shook her head.

'We don't have anyone here by the name of Ayden Lucas Davis; however we do have someone under the name Ayden Lucas Scott.' She said and Lucas had a small smile on his face even if it was just for a split second he had it, he nodded at her and she ushered him to the 3rd floor, telling him that she hoped everything would turn out okay, as he started to run and thanked her quickly.

Lucas ran up the stairs taking four at a time and thanking his lucky stars that he had yet to break his neck as he pushed the door of the third floor open he saw her sitting on a plastic chair staring out into nothing wiping her eyes and just as he walked up to her, her head turned and she saw him. He didn't know how she'd react she'd either cry or give him a small sad smile. He was however not prepared for the response he received. They were feet away from each other and the minute she saw him she jumped up out of her chair and started to run, she ran as if there was no tomorrow and threw herself into his arms.

Fragile, that's what she had been the entire day and that's what she was now, nonetheless she knew that only one person could make her feel less fragile and he was now holding on to her for dear life. Her legs had already locked around his waist and he held her close as she sobbed into the crook of his neck. Lucas let the tears he had tried so hard to push away finally fall on her shoulder.

The tears kept falling and as she looked him in the eyes she kissed him, the kiss came fort through the fear of the life of their only son, her tears fell against his cheeks and his fell on hers, and with doing so they mended. Brooke pulled him into a hug again looking out at the people who were looking at them…she tensed he could feel it and the next thing she said made him tense as well and his heart drop. And soon there was a sorrow in both their souls.

'Luke what are they doing here?'

**Review please and don't forget to check out Lover I don't have to love!**


	10. Years built on sin

**Hey guys, I know this is like a short chapter, but by all means bare with me! I did it for you, I didn't want you to wait too long seeing as that wouldn't be too fair to any of you, so here it is another chapter the next one should be arriving soon-ish. Thanks heaps by the way for your awesome reviews, God they meant the world to me! You have no idea, how much they meant, keep reviewing please I love it and really your reviews made me want to update so soon. **

**AN: Song used is called The Big Fight by Stars seriously while reading this chapter I demand you listen to it on repeat…well obviously I can't demand but I'll ask very nicely, it's just really good for the chapter! **

**ENJOY!**

**Chapter 10: Years built on sin**

_How could you do it_

_I couldn't say  
Years built on sand  
June until May  
Second to second  
Lied even while you held my hand_

'_Luke what are they doing here?'_

Upon seeing the three women in her life she cared so much about she felt her entire world spinning, what were they doing here and why were they here? Did they know? Did Lucas tell them, or were they just finding out for themselves right now?

Peyton had followed Lucas soon after he disappeared and was beyond confused as she saw him swirl on the road and go through every red light that came his way, he didn't stop nor did he hold on to the limits he was supposed to drive by. Soon after Peyton had disappeared in her gown as she cried her eyes out, Haley, Karen, Nathan and the kids had followed her out, all consumed with worry for the brooding curly head.

_Its death for the living  
Yes I am a ghost  
The mirror is cloudy  
I loved you the most  
You threw out the pieces  
Did things we didn't understand_

And that's why they were there looking at the couple who held each other as if there was no tomorrow, clinging to each others body desperately. Peyton looked hurt and yet again her looks were afar baffled. Brooke released her slender legs from around his waist and felt as he put her down on the ground that she couldn't breath, it was all too soon, and watching the stares of the three women unfold in front of her she knew that they had no clue as to why the former lovers were caught in a lover's embrace.

Lucas held on to her though he couldn't not now, he expected her to push him away and tell him to go but once again she surprised him that night. She held on to his hand and wrapped her arm around his waist while he wrapped his arm around her fragile shoulders. They walked up to them, Karen, Haley and Peyton with Nathan walking behind as he held a sleeping Lilly in his arms and as Jamie held onto his father's hand.

'Does someone want to explain what the hell is going on?' Karen was the first to speak up the fire in the lady never died and as Lucas watched his mother's unfazed expression he knew she already knew, she had that look in her eyes of utter disappointment, one that told him he needed to explain himself for she could not believe what she was thinking. A look she had given him when he told her Brooke had been pregnant back in junior year, a look she gave him when she asked him about the HCM, a look she gave him as she confronted him about the fire, and a look she was giving him now as she tried to put two and two together. However while doing she was missing one key ingredient.

_He doesn't want her but he just won't let her go  
She started breaking but she still won't let it show_

'Ma…' Lucas started but found no words to continue, how could he tell her that for the past four years she had been having a grandson, how could he tell her that he himself was a father. The truth was he did want to tell her, he wanted this entire nightmare to be over, but by doing so he would start an entire new nightmare one that would hurt the people he loved more than he'd ever want them to hurt.

Peyton sat down in a plastic chair and tried to gasp for air, in a matter of minutes her entire world had started to crumble and she didn't even know why yet. Things started to click the reason for Lucas's sudden departure his absence, he had been having an affair with Brooke – it seemed as though that was what had hurt her but that wasn't it. The kiss was shocking to witness and to know Brooke and Lucas were cheating on her behind her back was killing her, but the only thing her mind seemed to be occupied with was the way they held each other.

_The clothes in the wardrobe  
Just send them to me  
There are bills here for you  
That's 'cause nothing is free  
We build up with things  
To make us who we want to be_

They were a perfect fit, everyone had known it when they had been together, she was small enough to lay her head on his chest as he would lay his chin on her head, with him and Peyton it wasn't like that she was always a little bit too tall and when they hugged they'd bump into each other all the time. However she knew that a long time ago Brooke and Lucas would always have that and nobody could take it away from them. That didn't even faze her as much as the sudden envy she got upon looking at them.

Their eyes had locked and their was an unspoken promise, one she knew nothing about and a look she herself had never received from Lucas, there was an unwavering bond one she didn't know when they had built up. And that scared the living crap out of her, because how much more was there really? And if there was in fact more, would it make her knees beg to her to leap from underneath her?

Brooke had taken a sudden interest in their hands laced together and kept her eyes on them; she felt the mere touch Lucas gave her as he rubbed her hand with his thumb lightly squeezing her hand from time to time for support. She looked up for a brief second and saw Peyton had gone as she looked to her right she saw her sitting in a plastic chair staring out into nothingness, a look of impair was portrayed on her delicate face.

A guilt stricken feeling held its place affirmed in Brooke's stomach, she tried to shake the image out of her mind with no luck though. Then her eyes averted from Peyton to Haley and that's when she wished the floor could open up and swallow her, the look of betrayal and disgust was even worse than the sad look she had seen on Peyton's face. Haley was fuming this much was sure but she didn't say a word for she didn't want to draw attention, Brooke leaned in to Lucas not thinking about the fact that she should be apologizing sincerely and incessantly, she could not hold onto him, she did though, he was her rock right now and she needed him more than anyone.

Karen stepped forward a little drawing attention to herself, Lucas and Brooke locked eyes with one another and looked at the woman they both loved so very much. She looked crestfallen her eyes were laced with disappointment and anger. She shook her head taking another attentive step towards them; they both gasped wishing this atrocious nightmare gone.

_Is she in the background  
I just wouldn't know  
Did I build you a prison  
Please don't let me go  
I've unlocked the door_

_But you can't walk away from me_

'Family of Ayden Scott?' Nathan kept his eyes closed as he heard the doctors voice, who seemed to be oblivious to the tension in the room that could be cut with a blunt knife, he kept them shut tightly he didn't want to see the shock everyone was caught in he didn't want to face the confrontation he was sure was about to start and most of all he didn't want his family to feel like he had felt a mere week ago, betrayed and not good enough.

Brooke's worries about everyone finding out were the least of her worries as suddenly she had a moment of clarity her son was in the hospital because a bookshelf fell on top of him as he was trying to reach out for a book, he could have broken his neck, or spine or have internal bleeding, she didn't know how he was and neither did Lucas they both just knew that he was broken, their baby boy was broken.

'Yes I'm his mother.' Brooke started she had wanted to say 'we're his parents' but decided against it, for her former family had already enough to endure. She stepped a little closer to the doctor and was about to release Lucas' hand when she felt his grip tighten, he took in a deep breath and she instantly knew what he was about to do.

'We're his parents.' Lucas said and once again there were gasps heard throughout the entire waiting room, Peyton had known, the minute Brooke told the doctor she was his mother she had known who the father was, you didn't have to be smart to know that there was something going on between Lucas and Brooke no one knew about, and suddenly reality struck her upon hearing her former best friend's words. For a few seconds she had been cut in initial shock but now she was recovering and her tears began to fall.

_He doesn't want her but he just won't let her go  
She started breaking but she still won't let is show_

'Okay could you come with me please?' the raven haired brunette asked the couple, she smiled at Brooke who gave her small one in return, holding on to Lucas as they started to walk away from their family, or at least Lucas' family, just as they started to walk Lucas could feel an hand on his arm holding on to him tightly.

'I'm sorry…' was the only thing he said before walking along leaving Haley standing there shocked her arm still hanging trembling in the air, she looked at Nathan and when she saw his guilt written look she was aware of the fact that he knew, he had known. Before he could walk up to her she collapsed into Karen's arms the tears poured out of her eyes, like angry clouds waiting ages to be released and soon Karen followed still in utter shock of the scene she had just seen unfold. The son she'd had raised was now long gone from being her son, for she was sure the Lucas Eugene Scott she knew would never do this, he would never lie to her.

---

'How is he?' Lucas asked as they were somewhere more private he was dying to know about his son, he was dying to know about his well being, and if he even was well. Brooke couldn't fill him in with much detail as he arrived for both were too caught up in the little memoirs of their lies as their family started to unravel their biggest secret.

It was strange really, four years Ayden had gone by unmentioned and then one day or another everyone finds out, they found out through a doctor for God's sake. A stranger neither of the family members knew. A secret Brooke and Lucas had spent years on perfecting and because one, just one traumatic event they had to find out. Even though both Brooke and Lucas had to deal with everything now that it was out in the open and both knew that was going to be one of the most difficult things either of them had ever had to do in their entire life – still they felt relieved, as if the weight of the world was lifted of their shoulders, as if the giant truck that had been standing on their chests finally came of, they could breathe again.

'He's doing somewhat better…' something you never say to scared beyond reasoning parents, because their child is in a hospital is say that their four year old small, fragile, broken, son is doing somewhat better.

'He's breathing on his own again, and he has some physical injuries but other then that he's doing fine, his pulse is broken but with a cast everything will heal rather quickly, our main concern was if he had internal bleeding and after running some tests we came to the conclusion that he did in fact not have any internal bleeding. He does have some pain while breathing we're not too sure about, it might be from the shock but it might be something more, that's why we would like to keep him here a night or two for observation and after that you can take him home.'

'Mr and Mrs Scott, you can be very proud of your son, he's very brave. He did however immediately started asking for both of you and someone else…Nathan…is that…' she said once again she was cut off by Lucas who smiled knowingly.

'That's my brother.'

'Oh okay…well if you would follow me I think you are also very anxious to see your son again.' As Lucas started to follow the doctor he looked back at Brooke who was crying and holding her hand up to her heart. It was only in that moment that he noticed her crying since he hadn't before. He walked back to her and embraced her in a hug, his strong muscular arms wrapping around her small frame.

'God Luke I was so scared…' she said a sob escaped her quivering mouth, she breathed in his scent and he started to guide her towards the hallway, the white stainless walls immediately haunting him again, God he hated hospitals.

'Everything is okay now Brooke…I promise.' He kissed her temple lovingly and heads turned their way he knew whose head they belonged to but didn't seem fazed by them, he kept walking holding her as tight as he could.

'Is it?'

**Review pretty please xoxo Noor**


	11. My legs are pleading to leap

So here goes nothing, first of all I want to thank you guys so much for all of your wonderful reviews if you didn't know it yet then you do now they mean the world to me.

stefybboh: Thanks for the pm and for your review it meant a lot to me, and you did not bother me at all. You must be proud that I updated this fast, I mean for me this is very fast! Anyways I'm very glad you're enjoying this story this much it means a lot to me.

othfan326: Much thanks for your review, I know I couldn't exactly make Ayden go through something life altering or something...he's too cute for that. I'm hoping you will like this chapter enjoy the read.

missdenmark: I love your reviews for some reason that goes beyond me they make me really happy. Much thanks for the time you took to review.

toddntan: I'm glad you liked the previous chapter and didn't think it was fake or very uncharacter like. The Lucas we now know would never stand by Brooke, while the Lucas we knew would. I think you're going to understand Haley's reaction, I did understand but hey I also wrote it. Keep reviewing and have a good read!

CheeryFan: Hey Gia, glad to see your still alive…and still reading, that does me a lot of good. I saw that you had to catch up on everything and I was very happy with your reviews. So the doctor did them a favour huh? Gehehe he probably did, and I am so happy to hear that you loved how Lucas kept holding on to Brooke, I wanted to get that reaction out of my readers and it seems that I did. And you are mean, poor Peyton...wait what did I just say poor Peyton...okay pretend you never heard that. Let's grow some dirt over it...like really fast. Thanks for your flattering review! Enjoy.

Also a huge thanks to: Loub, BrOoKe DaViS23, Brucasfan23, BRUCAS123, brucas3, BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE, 23KT23 & onetreehillgirl066.

BIG THANKS TO Lindsay(broodyprettygirl) my beta who put time and energy in this chapter. Couldn't have done it without you Lindz.

Now without further ado...here it is. Review when you've read it.

**Chapter 11: My legs are pleading to leap**

"Ayden" her voice echoed through the noiseless hospital room. She stopped mid stride and watched her stunning baby lie in the bed that was too big for his small body. Ayden's eyes met hers. He beamed up at her, and she can't help but take in his exterior. A cast accompanies his small arm, and he has some bruises on his face, but it's nothing that won't heal with time. The arm around her waist tightens and when she looks up to see its owner; she is suddenly reassured.

"Momma…daddy." Ayden speaks and within a swift movement both parents are by his side, aiding him to great lengths. The tears were inevitable. Both parents had been holding them in for too long; the shock of the events of the night finally catching up to them.

"Oh, gosh peanut, you scared your daddy and mommy so much." She told him while holding him in her arms. She relished in his scent and the feel of him in her arms. "Don't ever leave me okay…" she whispers; to which Ayden quickly nods. He doesn't catch the quiver in his mother's voice, or the extreme anxiety that its laced with. Unbeknownst to Brooke; Lucas does.

"I'm sorry," he tells them apologetically and they smile sadly. Both parents kiss their son, each taking their own time to feel close to him. They reassure him and tell him he has got nothing to be sorry about.

----

The time has come. He knows it as he walks through the hall. He knows he cannot put it off any longer; for it's been put off four years too long. Lucas pushed open the door, turned the corner, inhaled deeply through his mouth, and tried to shake the appalling feeling out of his system. As he bypassed the nurses' station, he saw her. Haley James Scott. She was waiting for him in the (ironically enough) waiting room. She looked broken, and Lucas loathed seeing her like this. As he stepped into the waiting room, her poignant gaze fell upon his figure.

"Peyton couldn't deal with this. Karen being the woman she is went after her. She wanted to make sure Peyton would do something she'd regret. They went back to Tree Hill." She told him in a detached tone. Her eyes never met his as Lucas merely nodded. His hand scraped the back of his neck, something both knew was his one and only vice for when he was nervous.

"Where is Nate?" She snorted in response. A snort that was soon followed by a distressing sob. He felt horrible. All he wanted to do was lean in and hug his best friend. He wanted to tell her that everything would be okay and take all of her pain away. Yet, he knew he had no right to do that now. He was the reason why they were in this ungodly situation to begin with.

"Yeah. He went back to the hotel, because I could not deal with him right now."

"Hales…" he began. He was silenced by the look she gave him. When their eyes met, she dared him to go on. Lucas however kept quiet.

"Don't you dare! You are not in a position to stick up for anyone right now." The tears were once again falling down her face. She just didn't understand. She tried to, Lord knows she tried, but it didn't seem to match.

"I want…no I need to know everything."

He sat back in his chair and started to tell her everything. She did deserve that much. He told her about the time Brooke and he met up during a party. How he was miserable, because Peyton and he were on one of their notorious 'breaks'. Then he went into the details how his life changed when Brooke called him while she was crying and sobbing hysterically, telling him she was pregnant. He saw Haley's eyes avert, yet that didn't stop him. So he continued. As he told her about how Brooke ordered him to not tell Peyton anything, Haley stood up, furiously.

"That's a load of B.S., Luke, and you know it!" She bellowed at him, gaining the unwanted attention of some spectators. She closed her eyes willing the tears, that were begging her to let go, back. Willing herself to not show him her weakness and profound sadness. Anger and rage were the only emotions she wanted to be engaged in.

"Do you feel better about yourself? Because you get to tell yourself that you did all of this for Brooke? Do you feel less like a complete ass and less guilty, because you did it for Brooke?" He kept silent, knowing that this was not a question he was supposed to answer, better yet he didn't even know how he could answer if it were a real question. "Lucas Scott, what the hell have you become?" She seethed and saw him look down at his lap, nodding his head knowingly. Much like he had done when Brooke had accused him of not letting her in all the way all those years ago.

"I can't believe the man you've become Luke, better yet I'm ashamed of him and of your actions."

"Well…I'm not." He spoke up immediately, cutting her of in the process. "Look Haley, I know I disappointed you. I'm not saying that what I did was acceptable, but there is one thing I am not and that is ashamed for my actions. If I was, then I'd lost my way. Because of my actions, whether they were good or bad, I was blessed with a beautiful son. If I would have lost sight of that, then I would have lost my way, Hales."

"I cannot believe what I am hearing right now, Luke. What happened to my bestfriend, the one who told me everything? You were supposed to marry Peyton. Lucas, I was going to be her maid of honor, you were in love. Was every day you told her you loved her, was that a lie Lucas? Gosh, I can't even comprehend all this…For years we hear nothing of Brooke, and then suddenly today, we don't only find out she's been up and living, no she's been nurturing your child while doing so. Is this like an after school special? Am I being Punk'd?" Her tone was beyond baffled. She shook her head despite herself, and sunk back in the plastic chair.

"Hales, I do apologize for hurting you, and keeping Ayden from you, but I'm not going to apologize for the fact that he exists." With that he got up, gave her a sympathetic lop sided smile, and walked off, but not without giving her small shoulder a squeeze. He disappeared into the hospital room, where he had once come from, . He went back to his family.

Within minutes, Haley was standing in front of him again, begging for an explanation. After the argument she endured with his older brother, she wanted it to be over. However, she couldn't keep her emotions in tact. They were all over the place. Any sane person would be driven nearly insane if they just found out their best friend was having an affair with your other best friend, while cheating on your other best friend. Not only just finding that out, but that he also fathered a child with said best friend, without you ever knowing about it.

Haley just wanted it to stop; for herself and Peyton, but mostly for Karen. She deserved better. "Why didn't you tell me?" Haley asked Nathan with her hands on her waist, demanding an answer while Nathan tried to not lock his eyes with those of his wife in the hopes of delaying an answer.

"I don't know, Hales."

"That's crap and you know it! You kept it a secret because you didn't want to betray your only brother. Did it occur to you though, that by protecting your brother, you were actually betraying your wife?" She was on a roll.

"Hales, you've got to understand the circumstances. Gosh, what did you expect me to do? I was cornered, Haley." He told her, his own voice rising with every word that pushed itself out of his mouth. Haley kept her gaze fiercely locked on him. She couldn't believe how much she was being let down with every passing minute.

"Nathan, I get that you have some sort of undying faith in your heart for Brooke and Lucas and for them finding their way, but I didn't think you would approve of this. And despite the fact I salute you for your loyalty towards Lucas I want to kill you for your lack of loyalty towards me!"

"Okay Hales, let's set some things straight shall we! First of all, you were the one rooting for Brooke and Lucas, so don't turn that shit on me, okay? Secondly, I never said I approved of what they did, and just so you know, I found out about their fling and my nephew only two weeks ago. For the record, this is not the Haley I know. Where is the one who gives everyone second chances and sees the best in people? You're accusing them of everything they did wrong, but really Hales, has either of us been there long enough for Lucas or Brooke to even know how they were doing? I mean really doing?" Nathan asked her.

"That's not fair, Nate… We didn't know where she was. She just decided one day to leave and…"

"Hales, the phone goes both ways. We're just as much to blame for our lack of contact as she is." Nathan stopped a second to look at his wife. Her vision was clouded due to the unshed tears, but just as he reached out for her, they fell. "Are you ready to meet your nephew?" He asked her and when he heard her excruciating cry, his heart broke for her.

"I just don't understand. Why didn't they trust us enough? God, when I found out I was pregnant, Brooke was the only one I could trust."

"Haley…it was a different situation," was the only thing Nathan could think of to say. Haley nodded against his chest and held onto him for dear life, hoping she could stay like this forever. She didn't know how to take everything in; it all seemed so soon. It was as if she was looking at her life from outside her body. Everything seemed utterly surreal.

"Not tonight…maybe tomorrow though," Haley answered Nathan's previous question about her being ready to meet her nephew.

"Okay then."

--x—

Everything was still, eerily quiet, and she found it comforting. Sure she was left with her thoughts and worries to haunt her, but that didn't mean she would let them. Right now Brooke Penelope Davis was perfectly content with everything being soundless.

Her boys were lying next to each other in the hospital bed, and that was all that mattered. Brooke shook her head at herself. Did she just think of Lucas as her boy…she shook her head once again to remove those absurd thoughts from her mind. Must be the nostalgia she reasoned.

"Pretty girl, you awake?" Lucas asked her from his spot on the bed. She watched him through the dark room and found his figure due to the streetlights, which seemed to illuminate the room to a certain amount. She nodded her head and got out of the chair to sit down on the bed, currently occupied by her toddler and her ex-boyfriend. Funny how you could describe people with just words people used everyday to describe one another, yet with every person it differed.

Like when Brooke said or thought about a toddler she'd immediately think of Ayden and her undying love for him, while a nanny would maybe think of the agitating toddler she'd have to baby-sit. In turn, when Brooke mentioned her ex-boyfriend, it would always be Lucas Eugene Scott, who once swooned his way into her heart and even though she didn't want to admit it, hadn't left it yet.

"Couldn't sleep," she replied as to which he nodded and stared at her. The mention of her nickname still rang loudly in her ears. He hadn't called her that for years.

"What are we going to do Brooke?" he asked her. They had yet to talk about tonight's events and Lucas probably thought now was the right time.

"It's more about what you're going to do, Luke. They are your family, not mine." You're getting married, I'm not, she had wanted to add, but decided against it.

"What are you talking about? They are your family as well." He opined while looking at her as if she was acting preposterous.

"No, Luke. They are your family. Karen is your mother, Nathan is your brother, and Haley is your best friend and sister in law," she stopped briefly, gaining the courage from whatever higher force there was to continue, "And Peyton is going to be your wife."

"She's not." He was quick to answer any question going on in either of their heads. Brooke's head turned around to face him with so much speed he was wondering why she wasn't screaming in pain.

"She's not," he repeated much more forcefully and determined than he did the first time. Brooke wanted to say something; to tell him he belonged with Peyton and all that stuff she did not believe herself, but did tell him for the sanity of everyone. However, she was at a loss of what to say.

"I love Peyton, I just…I don't love her enough." A look of understanding was exchanged between the parents, and Brooke and Lucas were both wondering why she was not criticizing him right now or telling him he was being stupid.

"Took you long enough." Almost immediately, one of the five stages fought its way through her whole body, and she was gone, shaking her head as she walked through the hall.

--x—

"Peyton, you need to eat something, honey," Karen told her as they were sitting in the sanctuary of the café.

"I'm not hungry," she dismissed Karen's caring nature as fast as it was thrust upon her.

"Maybe we read into it too much. Maybe it was a mistake…maybe…"

"Karen, please stop kidding yourself. We both saw it. Your son is a cheating bastard who has been cheating behind my back with my former cheating best friend. Both created a illegitimate love child, and this story gives the Bold and the Beautiful a run for its money," Peyton scolded, her head still perfectly in place between her trembling hands, making every sound she made seem muffled. She knew she was being rude and hard on Karen, who was only trying to help her, but right now she had a right to be mad and sad and everything she wanted to be.

"Look Peyton, I know you're going through a lot right now, but we all feel betrayed…My son has kept my grandchild away from me…that hurts Peyton. Nathan and Haley are also hurting. We are all hurting Peyton, not just you," Karen told the blonde in front of her. Peyton had a tendency of making things revolve around her. She had gotten to know that over the last couple of years of knowing the brooding blonde. Today, however, she was not having any of it.

"I know…I know, I'm sorry." She got up and hugged the woman she had come to love more than she had thought possible. They held each other a little tighter than usual before releasing one another. "I'm just going to go home, sketch, brood, and listen to emo music. You know, just the usual." A sad chuckle erupted from the two women's mouths, and before they knew it, they were laughing like there was no tomorrow. The laughing soon died, and both shared an agonizing look; one that could break the coldest of hearts.

"Take care of yourself Peyt," Karen told the younger woman in her normal motherly tone to which Peyton nodded appreciatively.

"See you Karen."

--x—

Ayden was finally able to go home. An entire night and day in a hospital really was no fun. He always thought it would be cool to end up in the hospital and have everyone worry about you. Now that he had experienced it first hand, it really wasn't all that cool. In fact, it was quite boring and scary.

"Come on little man," Lucas said. He reached out to his son and placed him on his shoulder, but not before Brooke got to steal a kiss from him.

"Let's get you home." Lucas walked away, his eyes on his son as he looked up at the younger version of him and Brooke. While Lucas walked towards the exit of the hospital, Brooke gathered all of Ayden's stuff from the nurses' station and discharged him. Unbeknownst to her, Haley was standing behind her, and when she turned around their eyes met.

"He is a perfect match of you two," she said, her eyes never locking with Brooke's. Instead they were staring a hole into her forehead, which made Brooke feel very uncomfortable.

"Thanks…I guess," her response was short, yet genuine, but also distant, something Haley was not used to receiving from Brooke.

"Brooke, why didn't you tell me?" Haley asked her desperately. Her tone was not what it had been hours before; it was not filled with fury and desperation. Now, it was merely laced with utter heartache and fatigue.

"We were supposed to be best friends…I cried everyday when you left. I mean, I couldn't believe my best friend would leave me without saying goodbye."

"I know, and I'm sorry Hales. I am, and I am so sorry I didn't have enough strength to confide in you, but if it is any consolation, I have to deal with the repentance and disgrace every single moment of the day."

"That doesn't really matter, Brooke, because what you did can't be undone. You can't take it back anymore...it all hurts the same right?" she jabbed back, knowing this was going to get through to the brunette. With one last look at the person she once leaned on and expected to catch her when she fell, she walked away.

"Haley…hales…tutor-girl, please!" Brooke tried to yell at her, but to not avail. The clouds in her eyes were already pouring down her face. "I don't want to lose you again," she said to no one but herself, and anyone who was willing to hear. Once again, Brooke felt as if she was back at square one, having traveled back five years in time, where everything seemed so ominous, and she was all-alone except now she was not alone. She had Ayden, and she had to remind herself of that every single day.

She had Ayden; she had him, but was that really enough?

**Now it's time for you lovely readers to tell me what you thought! xoxo**


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